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espritmuse · 3 years ago

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Zeke and Reiner birthday collab!! It was supposed to be longer but my sens of organisations is close to zero so I was late as usual @saccharine-darling collab!!!

4K words, smut ahead (but not that much lol)

Warning: reader is low-key cheating, semi public sex maybe angst too idk….

Perhaps the sun, always glorious and a harbinger of delight and bliss, reminded you of how dull and dreary your life was, while the moon and its obscurity brought you back to your slumbers and reveries.

On a bright day when everything seemed dark, questioning your relationship with Reiner, you met him, Zeke Yeager, like a light among the stars, like the moon eclipsing the sun for a mere moment, but maybe long enough to forget about how bright the sun used to shine.

—LUNAR ECLIPSE—

A single tiny piece of sunshine that seemed to escape from the firmament to find refuge, a curtain slightly ajar so that the darkness did not take over the whole room and one side of the bed unmade, the grey cotton sheets crumpled as usual, as they have been every morning for several months now. It was all these little details, in addition to your noisy alarm clock, the passers-by and the cars in the city streets, that brought you out of your long and sweet reverie, the one that allowed you to escape from your daily life, which was morose, to say the least.

You gathered up what courage you had left and got up after stretching your numb limbs from the awkward position you had been in while sleeping. Walking a few steps to reach the window, you opened the shutters and curtains to finally let the sweet sunshine into the sad room, which needed it. Although you had no desire to see him again, your stomach was just rumbling with anticipation of anything that might fill it. So you opened the white wooden door, turned the gold handle, and headed for the main room of your little flat.

"Morning." You greeted with a sigh before opening one of the small doors in the wall shelves to pick up a black patterned mug into which you poured coffee straight from the coffee pot.

"Hm." The short-haired man simply replied without even bothering to look in your direction, as if he didn't care about your presence anymore.

You didn't even care, you'd taught your heart not to feel bruised by every loveless move he made. He just couldn't stand you anymore, he didn't love you like he used to. You don't know what changed, what you could have done to make your sweet and loving boyfriend suddenly change his behaviour.. The idea that he had met someone else had crossed your mind more than once, but you didn't even dare ask him; you were frightened of the answer he might address you. Despite his silence, you never stopped loving him and it hurt you deeply that he could have gone to someone else, another girl, maybe more beautiful, funnier... It's all these questions that have little by little pushed you away from him in your turn.

"Did you sleep well? It was hot last night and I had a little trouble falling asleep.” But you tried to talk to him, no matter what, you always found something to say to try to reconnect with the man you loved.

With the summer, the heat and the sun, he had even more excuses to go out at all hours of the day so you had even less opportunity to see him. At times you can't help but think back to the days when you would jump into his arms as soon as you heard his keys turn in the front door lock, when you would spend the evening in each other's arms whispering sweet nothings. You think back on those moments with great melancholy, you don't even feel like the same man anymore.

“Yeah.” Once again, he didn't look at you; his head was turned towards the television, which was showing a programme even more boring than the questions you were asking him to break the ice. Slumped on the sofa, his left leg stretched out and the other bent; you sat down next to him and put your cup on the living room’s small coffee table.

"We could go out today, don't you think? I miss when we used to go for walks in the city Reiner." You asked, your eyes on him, and thankfully you noticed a small movement in his regard as if in a second he had recalled happy memories, memories where everything still seemed perfect.

"I...I already have stuff planned." He replied after a short moment, his gaze still evasive.

"Oh...Okay." You simply answered, not wanting to annoy him longer, maybe that was the reason; you were too much on his back, you were asking for too much attention...

Silently sipping your coffee, you pondered for a moment, your mind elsewhere. After a few minutes of communicating to yourself, you made your settlement. You were going to go out without him, you didn’t need him for everything. It had been weeks since you had been out with just yourself and you were beginning to miss it; when you officially moved in with him, away from your family, you lost touch with many of your friends so it was high time to meet new people and have some fun for once.

So the day passed, the noon and then the afternoon; you had decided to go out at night to appreciate everything even better, the big lights on the main boulevard, itself filled with people dancing -contrasting with their morose faces of the day-, the bars full of life, the stars overhanging the sky and giving it a bit of light in its solitary gloom...Everything seemed more beautiful once the sun was down. Perhaps the sun, always bright and a harbinger of delight and hapiness, reminded you of how dull and dreary your life was, while the moon and its night brought you back to your slumbers and reveries.

Using your phone, you took down the address of a bar in your town that you had spotted earlier on one of your walks. It was quite big but seemed to be a bit of an upmarket bar, given the prices of the drinks. But you didn't give up, it was your night out, all to yourself and it didn't matter if you ended up broke, you wanted to have fun for once.

So when night fell, you put on your best evening dress, a short black dress, hugging your body to perfection without being too tight, and your pumps of the same colour - a little high and uncomfortable, but that would be a problem for later -. And of course, you took forever to make yourself beautiful in the bathroom, make-up, eyebrows, nails... Who knows, maybe you were going to meet someone, or maybe somewhere in the back of your mind, you wished Reiner would see you like this, that he would fall in love with you again like he did a few years before when he saw you at that campus party. You would have liked him to compliment you, to ask you to stay home, or even to ask you out instead; but none of that; he was already off somewhere while you were primping in the next room.

Turning the key in the lock of the front door, you then went down the stairs quickly - trying not to fall with your impractical high heels - and went to the taxi you had ordered beforehand because, although the bar was not far away, you were still a woman in a short dress at night and you didn't want to put your life in danger. Once in the car, the driver began to drive carefully, exchanging a word or two with you so that the journey would not be too boring.

"So, a girls' night out? It's a beautiful day right now, even at night, you're lucky to see the stars in the city, with the pollution, not everyone gets to see them so often." The man says to you, hands on the wheel, looking straight ahead, preparing to brake at the red light.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm going out to have some fun." You simply replied to the white-haired, long-bearded widow with the same unkempt light colour.

"In my day, me and my friends used to run out of bars, unpaid!" He recalled with a smile as he looked at you through the car window to look at your smiling face, too. "So if you need me to wait for you outside the bar so you can escape, don't hesitate, the police have never caught me...yet."

"It's going to be hard for me to run around with these things on my feet...but I'll make a note, the prices are outrageous." You replied to his somewhat amusing remark.

The car had been driving for several minutes now and you saw the front of the bar, so the driver pulled over and waited for you to give him the money for the fare, which you said after digging into your wallet for a few seconds.

“Take care of yourself miss” He finally said before rolling up the driver's side window and leaving.

You breathed out a deep breath before crossing the street that separated you from the place. It was, like all the other signs of this kind, much more animated at this hour and more beautiful too. Its many lights of all colours and the people who surrounded it, some outside to smoke or drink and others, inside laughing with friends, that you could see between the half-open doors... All this gave an astonishing charm to this place.

Your legs a little shaky with hesitation, you finally entered, putting your hands on one of the glass doors to push it open slightly to give yourself more room to pass. You quickly made your way to the bar at the far right of the large room. To avoid people who had already had too much to drink, you stayed close to the walls, walking quickly along them to wait for the right place. Although your steps went in one direction, your eyes, curious as they are, turned towards the dance floor and the other people present. They seemed so happy, full of life, smiling, dancing... You wondered immediately if, like you, their lives were not a reflection of their current emotions, if, like you, they woke up in the morning, sad with the feeling that their lives are meaningless. They seem so happy at the time, but are they really happy once the sun rises, once the bar lights go out?

You took a seat on one of the leather stools placed at the counter, waiting for a waiter to ask you what you wanted to order. A simple whisky, that's what you took when the waiter came towards you.

Sipping your drink -or rather the second one, as you had swallowed the first one in record time-, you continued to look at the others, indefinitely, when you heard a voice break your precious silence; it was the bar's waiter once again but this, this time he was holding a small plate with two drinks on it.

"Excuse me, here," he placed two more glasses of whiskey in front of you, "The man over there paid for you." He nodded towards another part of the room to your puzzled look. In the distance, there was a group of men who looked like businessmen, from the black suits they were still wearing. You didn't know which man he was talking about, there were several of them; two with blond hair, one who looked very effeminate and the other with glasses and a beard; a dark-skinned man with closely shaved hair and finally a dark-haired man who seemed to be smaller in stature, especially compared to one of the blond men beside him.

You turned back your head to its original position, a little smile on your face, proud that your charm was still working, and what's more, on a man who seemed rather attractive - because, even if you didn't know which man the drink came from, the four of them were rather to your liking -

"Is this seat taken?" A deep yet soft voice suddenly asked, taking you out of your reverie.

You turned towards the noise you had just heard and noticed that a young man, about your age or maybe older, was pointing with his index finger at the chair next to yours. He was one of the guys you just saw some minutes prior, one of the blonde, the one with the beard and the round silver glasses.

��Oh...No. No, it’s not, you can take it,” you answered as naturally as possible, with a smile that had not yet left your lips. The unamed man said before sitting on the chair at your right, he had a cup in his hand, half empty.

“So...What a girl like you is doing here..” he leaned over a little to look at the other vacant seat on your left. “...all by herself?”

"Oh well, I was supposed to come with someone but they dropped me... so I preferred to come alone." you replied honestly, your eyes looking into his.

"He doesn't know what he's missing then." He added with a small smile and a discreet wink.

Although the man was attractive, you weren't used to that anymore; going out to bars, being accosted…Since you were with Reiner, you had developed the habit of always replying negatively to the advances of men. But at the moment everything was racing through your brain, you didn't even know what he was doing tonight and he didn't even bother to ask you where you were going, as if he didn't care anymore.

To have fun. That was the promise you made to yourself, and you decided to keep it.

"Zeke, nice to meet you. "You finally told him after he asked your name and, of course, you asked his in return.

Maybe it was the liquor, or maybe it was the sense of freedom you hadn't had the pleasure of feeling in months, but for some reason you'd ended up chatting with him for hours. You knew that time was passing, thanks to the waiter's digital watch that lit up every time he lifted his arm to look for a bottle up high, your eyes were directed straight to the sudden glimpse of light in the darkness.

He offered to dance, which you refused, for fear that your heels would give out under your inexperienced movements - or maybe those embarrassing movements were the real reason - and then he offered you something else, something a little daring, maybe even too daring for the short time you'd both been sitting at the bar.

You accepted, without even considering too much, maybe you should have? or maybe the adrenaline and the alcohol in your veins spoke for you. This man had appeared like lightning in the middle of a storm, the moon in the middle of a sky devoid of light. In other words, he was there at the right time.

So there you were, without really knowing how or why, sitting on the edge of one of the sinks in the bar's toilets, your dress somewhat raised so that your skin could come into contact with the cold surface of the piece of furniture, your legs spread -it was almost pathetic- and his hands placed on your half-opened thighs, rough hands, large and painted with several blue veins, contrasting with his rather light skin and which gave in spite of themselves a little colour to his light skin.

"Are you sure no one will come and disturb us here?" You asked, putting your hands on his chest, still dressed, although he had removed his black blazer. Only a white shirt prevented you from coming into direct contact with his skin, the one you wanted so much, now.

"Don't worry...just relax, okay?" He moved closer to you and placed a soft kiss on your neck that made your eyelids close almost instantly.

His lips began to move freely over your face and chest, as if they couldn't decide where to land. His arms were still wrapped around you, moving around your back, catching the fabric of your dress at times, as if to bring you closer to him.

While your eyelids were still closed, your ears were attentive to every little sound in the room, as if they were ready to inform your body of someone's arrival or, as was the case now, to hear the zip of his trousers being quickly undone.

"Are you sure?" You felt his warm breath next to your ears, as if he were telling you a well-kept secret.

"I'm sure." You retorted, ready to submit to one of the cardinal sins. Although, you would have much preferred that he took you home, for comfort, at least.

You felt his long, hot member between your thighs, with a long sigh of your own. He was already hard as a rock, and you wet as the ocean, for a flash of a second you wondered if this was his intention all along and if he had noticed you as soon as you stepped into that bar and then, a little heat growing in your crotch made you forget about this useless questioning.

You tried not to be too blatant, but as his pelvic thrusts got more profound and faster, you couldn't stop a few moans from escaping your lips.

"Fuck...a body like that.." He commented, using two of his fingers to push the fabric of the neckline of your dress and expose one of your breasts to the air.

"Zeke..." You moaned languidly as he continued his back and forth.

"What? You don't agree maybe? Look at you." He questioned, though his question was mostly rhetorical at this point because yes, indeed, you had noticed what a disadvantageous position you were in. "Poor girl... so desperate, I almost feel sorry for you, you know"

Then he stopped for a moment and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you down from the sink where your feet did not touch the floor. He turned you, a little violently, and pressed your belly against the surface of the sink, allowing him to have a full view of everything below, which, as you could imagine, he was most interested in.

He kept his burning hands on your hips - you could feel it even through the lmere piece of tissue that separated your skin from his - to help his pelvis move even harder, which released even more little moans from you, trying as hard as you could to muffle them with the palm of your hand, though it was more than futile.

"I'm almost there...Fuck you feel amazing..." he groaned in a hoarse voice, his movements becoming more and more tired but still rough, as if he wanted to get it over with quickly.

With all the alcohol you'd ingested -which you weren't really used to doing anymore- your envy was even bigger than usual but, strangely, your pleasure wasmore distant, as if each movement was taking you further away from the orgasm. But you didn't give up, your lower body was still on fire, as if insatiable, never satiated - although the fingers he placed on your clitoris helped a little with that -

With a final grunt from him and a long moan from you, your mutual pleasure finally came to an end. And suddenly all your senses came back to you; you felt his hips pressed against you, his hands roaming over your half-dressed body, the surface of the washbasin which was no longer really cold thanks to your own warmth, the air conditioning of the toilet which didn't even have a window and finally, the dimmed lights of the room.

He withdrew from you after a few seconds -or maybe a few minutes, you didn't even know anymore-, removed the soiled condom he had put on beforehand and wrapped it in paper before throwing it precautiously in the trash. Returning to you a moment later, he pulled up the black lace lingerie that had been left on one of your calves and pulled your dress back on, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder, in stark contrast to his rough actions earlier.

Once out of the toilet, under the innocent gaze of the other customers, he proposed to you, leaning against the wall near the exit, to meet him the next day, at an address he had given you, that of his flat. Should you? You had felt so good a few minutes before, but now that you had regained your senses, everything was confused. Sure he was charismatic, quite funny and cultured but Reiner couldn't leave your consciousness so easily, you had been through so much with him, you couldn't leave him after just one night with another man.

But you accepted. You were not committed to anything, you had only given him your name; you would have the whole day to think quietly, away from the hustle and bustle of the bar and with less alcohol flowing through your veins.

So after a simple kiss on your cheek, he called you a taxi and even opened the door for you, wishing you a good night. The ride was short, you didn't even think about him for a second but only about Morpheus, who seemed to be screaming your name, your comfortable bed was the only thing you craved now.

***

Just a tiny bit of sunlight sticking out of the door, one hand on the handle and the other on your purse, a great gulp of air escaping from your lungs and finally, the guilt that took over your mind suddenly, once the door was open.

What the fuck had you done.

The blond boy with the marked facial features was there, lying on the couch, his body covered by one of your blankets and, in his sleeping hand, his phone still open on the messaging application where you could read your name. You turned on your phone, something you hadn't done all evening.

"Where are you? You're not home." Please come back home I have a surprise for you. "Hey?" "Please tell me that you're okay at least. "I love you." "Sorry"

You were confused, it had been a long time since he had stopped sending you such messages, words that seemed to indicate his attachment to you. So you turned on one of the lamps in the living room to get a better look, because the light from the television wasn't bright enough to illuminate the whole room.

A table covered with a red tablecloth with small decorative patterns, a large candle in the centre, which had once been lit by the dripping wax but was now out and cold, two plates and cutlery, one full and one half eaten, and to top it all off, your old friend the Guilt, who was just whispering maliciously in your ears.

"You're back..."

At the sound of the still sleeping little voice, your eyes suddenly widened and your body felt heavy now, as if your legs were going to give out under your weight. But you turned back to him, not looking at all. He looked tired and was dressed in his pyjamas, a simple white tank top with grey shorts.

"Oh hi." You replied simply, a little confused by the situation.

He walked towards you, with a shy smile on his face, like a child trying to get close to a wild animal that might run away at any moment.

"I wanted to... "He looked down at your outfit and his gaze shifted for a moment, as if he'd just realised you'd spent the night away from home and, as he knew you didn't really have any friends here, that you'd spent it out there alone. But he didn't say a word and continued, "I wanted to apologise. I've been a shit to you and I know that. I'm so sorry, I know you deserve better, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

You frowned and opened your mouth, letting fresh air enter between your lips. Reiner probably read the confused and shocked expression on your face, so he continued.

"I had so much on my mind right now, you know, I feel so bad. I would do anything for you..I..I don't know...I should have told you about it my love I'm sorry." You saw a tear escape from his right eye, almost reaching his rosy cheek before he wiped it away with his hand, "Maybe we could try again?" with his fragile fingers, he took you by the hand and looked you straight in the eyes. "Please, I love you so much."

You should have been happy. You should have jumped into his arms, told him that all was forgiven, promised him a bright future, put your lips against his. But you were as if frozen, like a criminal before the police, like a slow prey before its fast predator.

So you stood there, forcing a small smile that on the surface said 'all is well' but in reality depicted your unhappiness even more than the tears. He responded to your smile, wrapping his warm arms around you, as you had so dreamed of, as you would have loved this very morning.

You couldn't even think straight. Had he planned all this for you? That's why he didn't want to go out. And you had gone elsewhere, while all he could think about was you, all he could think about was making things right.

Lying. It was the only solution. You wouldn't see Zeke again tomorrow, you would forget him, this evening would be a distant memory, like a dream so realistic that you would almost forget that it had never happened.

Like the moon on an eclipse day, it had hidden the sun, almost making you forget its beauty and warmth, temporarily providing some comfort in the dark night that the luminous orb had caused when it suddenly left.

It was tears that lulled you that night, under the mocking eye of the moon.

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lostbbygorl · 3 years ago

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THE GENERAL AND ULTIMATE MODERN AU EREN YEAGER HEADCANON POST:

✨ Oooohh boy..... Eren Yeager

✨ In this post, I'll be discussing Eren as a child and Eren as the 19-year-old Chad we now know him as

✨ Okay, so Eren as a child

✨ WHERE TF DID HE GET THAT RAGE?

✨ Everyday he wakes up looking like an angry gremlin and he growls at people saying hi to him in the hallways

✨ The elementary school teachers genuinely like him and they know deep down he's a very sweet boy but KIDDO PLS GET YOUR HANDS OFF LIL TIMMY'S NECK AND DO YOUR MATHS MANIA MULTIPLICATION WORKSHEET HE DIDN'T MEAN TO DROP YOUR FAVORITE ERASER

✨ Mikasa and Armin were the only people who could calm him down

✨ You know that one kid who gets sent outta the classroom every week? And like teachers always call said kid's parents for a meeting? Eren is that kid

✨ At first, a very disappointed Grisha went to the meetings, and then neither parent went cuz they were too busy, and then Carla always went. By "too busy" I mean having yelling matches and digging up old bones and then storming off like toddlers. That was the hardest part of Eren's life

✨ A lot of Eren's rage came from his parent's crumbling marriage and he missed his dad but MY GOD he was relieved when Grisha left them. Eren has a soft spot deep down for him, but he's gonna break a damn wall if he sees Grisha again, and near his mom

✨ Eren's behavior improves at the start of middle school though. He's still not to be fucked with and lowkey terrifies the teachers, but he's much more amiable

✨ Eren's grades also improve in middle school. He finds more motivation and his study routine is shite but atleast he's putting more effort. Speaking of grades, he always scores 100% in PE

✨ Eren was always the fastest runner and even though he isn't super passionate about sports, he's competitive

✨ I feel like Eren would sometimes do sports for fun, but his main interests lie in martial arts. I hc he learns karate or judo or smth and get numerous degrees in it throughout the years

✨ Eren is popular despite being a hardass. He still gets clowned doe

✨ PLENTY OF FUCKING INJURIES AND BRUISES

✨ Now onto college Eren with the long hair and dem abs

✨ He's chill for the most part ig, still scary doe

✨ He gets daily reminders from Mikasa and Armin to study and that's the only reason he passes

✨ I feel like he'd take the same classes as his friends and be nonchalant about college but then get interest in his subject and find it's his passion

✨ "Woah", Eren doing a perfect Gabbie Hannah impression at 3 AM after realizing how much his major means to him

✨ Eren's handwriting is messy but readable. Hw takes notes on random pieces of paper and random notebooks so the night before the exams he's turning the house down looking for that half ripped sticky note

✨ But I mean the grade is good so he won't stop the bad practice

✨ 9/10 times Eren is the veteran face showing new college students around the campus. Him and Jean actually

✨ In a modern world, Eren and Jean are frenemies becuz Eren finds him annoying. They have roast battles and even rap battles. Eren tells Jean to stfu if he even breathes

✨ Eren goes to bed at 2 and he actually tries to fix his sleeping schedule but then Jean sends him game invites and he's just MAD

✨ Sasha and Connie throw parties every weekend and you best believe Jean and Eren are in the convenience stores getting snacks and then tampons to make a tampon princess castle tgt later on

✨ Eren is the friend who has a nice ass car. He picks ppl up and drops them off everyday

✨ He LOVES going on late night rides with his peeps

✨ ESPECIALLY Mikasa ��

✨ Eren is head over heels for Mikasa and Mikasa is the same and their mutual pining is so fucking embarrassing atp

✨ Eren is one of those ppl who are scared of love so the intensity of his feelings for Mikasa scare him so when he's hanging out he's like

" Mikasa looks pretty I wanna hold her hand. Welp, time to fuck or beat one out"

✨ Eren is defo popular among the ladies but he isn't flirty, he's just polite. He isn't a fboi despite what other writers say

✨ He does like hookups doe. He'll back off if a gal aint interested doe

✨ Eren also seems like a tattoo kinda guy. He has one of an eagle on his neck and his initials on his back

✨ Idk why but he rubs me as the type of dude who'd be friends with kids. Like 1 or 2. Namely, Gabi and Falco

✨ Eren goes to Paradis college and FalBi go to Paradis middle school. They used the college performing hall for a play and Eren volunteered to help prepare the stage to get out of classes. That's when he met a sweet, quiet Falco and a hyper, feral Gabi. He was amused by their interactions and got nostalgic seeing them tbh cuz he remembered his elementary days with Armin

✨ Gabi was trying to rope Falco in for another one of her dangerous plans and Falco ultimately caved

" Let's sleepover in this hall tonight. Our parents are out and I bought all the stuff we need"

" What? That's crazy! What if we get caught?"

" Come of, Falco. Pleeaaassseee?"

" Fine, but it's on you if we get in trouble"

✨ " Kid with the ponytail, that's a crazy plan but Imma cover for you", said Eren joining in

✨ They've been talking ever since and when Eren realized Gabi is Reiner's fave and closest cousin, they became closer

✨ Overall, Eren is a loveable dude despite being a bit chaotic

#modern au eren #modern au aot #eren yeager headcanons #eren aot

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kumawrites · 4 years ago

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hi!! idk how requests work but coffeeshop au with oikawa as the flirty barista and you're just trying to find a place to study okay bye 😶😶

iced vanilla bean latte

☆ oikawa tooru x reader ☆

☆ - 1.7k words

☆ - a/n: i based this 100% in a local coffee shop in my area that i frequent except i h8 coffee

☆ - taglist: @miceonmars

“Y/N, Obama was the last president of the United States, not the third.” Kiyoko looked at you with a pitiful gaze in response to your answer.

“Oh.” You blinked once. Twice. A third time for good measure. So your American Politics class was needless to say, not going very well. Honestly, you didn’t even know why you were taking an American politics class when you lived in Japan. Actually, you knew why. Because of your horrible habit of procrastinating literally anything that can be procrastinated, you foolishly waited until the very last day that you could to register for classes. And unsurprisingly, most of them had been completely filled, leaving American Politics to be the only history class that you were able to take. Which would have been just fine, had you not procrastinated studying and even taking notes.

You stared blankly down at your notebook that was barely a quarter full. Instead of taking notes and actually paying attention in class, you either skipped or distracted yourself playing games on your phone. Your professor never notified you since you sat right in the middle of the lecture hall, not drawing much attention at all. Maybe, that wasn’t a good thing, however. You had no connection to your professor at all, and asking for help this late in the game just didn’t feel right, which is extremely irrational but you really didn’t care.

Your problem would really just have been solved if you did care. Too bad you didn’t. However, you’re stuck in a bit of a pickle now, not knowing even the basics of the class, with midterms coming up and a frighteningly fast rate. You were bound to fail, and your parents would not be very happy about that. So, you decided that it was finally time to actually study. Except studying really meant learning all of the material that you had covered for half of the semester in about a week.

Luckily for you, you had great friends who were super smart and actually studious to help! Kiyoko had already taken the class, being a grade ahead of you, and had graciously blessed you with her notebook full of her beautiful notes. It was truly astounding how notes could be so pretty. Yachi, on the other hand, gave your studying tips and ways to actually study well. Without those two, you would have failed the midterm for sure, and most likely the course all together.

You were currently studying with Kiyoko in the library, well trying to at least. Apparently, you knew less than you actually thought.

“Wait, what’s a Conservative? Is that a branch of Congress?” You weren’t doing too hot.

“It’s a political party. They’re a more extreme version of a the Republican Party.” You nodded your head, slowly understanding. Why were politics so complicated?

“Oh, okay. I think I get it. So, Liberals are Democrats but more extreme?”

“That’s right.” Kiyoko nodded her head as you scratched down some of her notes into your own notebook. Kiyoko’s phone pinged and she grabbed it from the table, turning it on. She read the message, sighed, replied, and began packing up her things. “Sorry, Y/N, but my boss just messaged me. I have to go in tonight, Hana got sick.” You nodded and gave Kiyoko a slight smile and a wave as she left. Now it was just you, left to your own devices. You were half tempted to close your books and play Fire Emblem, but that seemed like a poor long term choice.

You kept at it for a surprisingly long amount of time, around an hour, until a rowdy group came in. Even though it was a library, it wasn’t the most quiet of places on campus, and many groups liked to come in to work on group projects. You had no problem with them, until they set down their bags and their bodies at the table right next to yours, still chatting loudly. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t bring your earbuds with you. Since you assumed you would just be studying with Kiyoko the whole time, you didn’t bother to pack them. The one moment in your life when you needed them the most. A tragedy.

You sighed and packed up your things, considering giving up studying for the day, until you realized you were running out of time and were still extremely confused. And tired. You yawned as your left the library, wondering where to go from there. Going back to your dorm would only lead to you playing video games and ignoring everything else, so that was off the list. Every other place you could think of would be far too noisy to actually study. You were in quite the pickle.

You were really close to giving up for the hundredth time until you passed by a coffee shop that you had never seen on campus before. Was that always there? No, it couldn’t have been. It was in the middle of a route you used all of the time to get across campus. But how did you never notice that this was there? The shop had large windows that you could peek through to see a very classy interior. Everything seemed to be made of a walnut coloured wood, excluding the black chairs and stools. There weren’t too many people in the shop, just a small crowd. It looked peaceful. You stood there for a bit before deciding to walk inside. Maybe this is where you could study in peace.

As soon as you opened the door, you were greeted with the smell of fresh roasted coffee beans. You stopped a vacant table and placed your belonging on it and took a seat. The chairs were surprisingly comfortable, even though they seemed to be made of metal. The vibe in the entire shop was very calm. You could get used to this.

You took your notes out and began to study, creating flashcards and making your notes a bit cleaner and more cohesive. This was the kind of productivity that you needed to have on a daily basis. Too bad that this energy was for sure going to leave your body once you finish your midterm. Another yawn left your body, and you turned your head towards the counter. You could buy a coffee. That wasn’t going to break your bank account. Yeah.

You stood up and headed towards the counter, staring at the menu. Everything on the menu sounded fine, but you didn’t know exactly what you wanted.

“Hey! What can I do for you today?” A cheery voice broke you form your thoughts and you brought your eyes back down to look at who was speaking to you. The barista that greeted you had a charming smile on his face, one that you knew just drew people in. He was pretty, for sure, but you didn’t have time to think about pretty boys, too focused on trying to pass your class.

“Hi there. I’ve never been here, so I’m not too sure what to get. What would you recommend?” You have him a polite smile in return, and shifted your gaze back to the menu. There were so many options that you were a bit overwhelmed with choices

“Hmm..” The barista tapped his chin and scrunched his face a bit. “What about the vanilla bean latte? It’s really good iced!” He suggested and you nodded your head.

“Okay, sure. I’ll have that as a 24 ounce, then.” You ordered such a large drink since you assumed that you would be here for a while, having so much material left to study.

“Oh, it’s Y/N.” You replied and he hummed, typing it into the tablet on the counter. Your total came up and you handed him your card, making sure to leave a tip.

“That’s a cute name, just like you!” You stared at him. It was like someone had just stopped a record right in the middle of a song. What? Did you hear that right?

“Sorry, um, what?”

“I just think you’re super cute. We’ll have that vanilla bean right out for ya, Y/N.” He winked and walked over to his coworker who was making your drink. You vaguely remember his coworker scolding him, telling him to ‘stop flirting with the customers shithead’, but you really weren’t listening. Were you just, flirted with? Is that how this works? You for sure were not expecting that to happen.

You returned to your seat and opened up your notes, trying to forget the flirting(?) and focus on your studies. That’s what you came here to do, not flirt with a cute barista that you would for sure go on a date with. But, he was probably just a flirty person, you figured. If his coworker scolded him like that, it was probably a common occurrence, meaning you shouldn’t take it to heart or anything. He was just super cute.

Only a few minutes after you began to actually focus in on your work, you noticed that a large plastic cup full of iced coffee and a plate with a muffin was placed down at your table. Looking up, you saw the cute barista with a beaming smile on his face.

“Here you go, Y/N. Hope you like it.”

“Oh, I didn’t order a muffin.” You tilted your head up at the man who chuckled in response.

“I know. It’s on the house.” And with that, he gave you a tiny wave and disappeared into the back room, leaving you shook. Was this protocol? No, definitely not. Was this protocol for him flirting with every female customer? His boss wouldn’t let him give out that much free food. Was he really, for sure, actually, flirting with you? Was this real? Are you real? Okay, not time for an existential crisis.

You picked up the muffin on the plate, and noticed a small note that was placed under it.. It read, ‘text me!!!! :) xxx-xxx-xxxx - oikawa’. At this point, you were pretty damn sure he was flirting with you. Holy shit. He was flirting with you. Oikawa, you assumed his name was, still hadn’t come out of the storage room, so you couldn’t gauge his reactions or anything. You stared at your phone that you picked up like it was an explosive, ready to detonate. Were you actually going to text him? Was this actually a good idea? You know what, fuck American politics, you had something far more pressing to deal with at the moment.

y/n: hey is this oikawa? this is y/n

oikawa: hey cutie!! ;)

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa #oikawa x reader #haikyuu reader insert #reader insert #request

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butterbeeryuta · 5 years ago

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johnny as your boyfriend; radio!au

a/n: thIS was requested a looooooong time ago, and i am so sorry that i only wrote this now. My mocks are finally done, and they actually went pretty well, so i hope my results will match whatever i am claiming skdjkjd. This headcanon was really fun to write, and it was overall just adorable oof alright, imma head to over to my next oneshot now. Hope all of you have a great day.

Okay so ya’ll are in uniVersity (as expected because I am writing this)

You met johnny 2 years ago when you were freshman looking for a job on campus cause um,,, college is a bitch

And you saw this uni radio show ‘Night Night’ which went live every wednesday at 9 in the evening

You honestly had no idea what they talked about since you’ve never listened to one

Despite the fact that your roommate Sicheng always talks about it and claims how great it is

BUT ANYWAY

You always enjoyed radio shows in general, and saw that they were hiring for another radio show personality

HMMmmMmmmM i wonDEr wheRe tHIS Is gOInG

You were one intellect my dear; you were studying political science at Konkuk University, meaning, you were one opinionated ass individual

But, you also had your crack side acCording to ur roommate

You fucking chased Sicheng around with those incense sticks cause you couldn’t find your go-to rolling pin to scare the shit out of him for eating your pack of strawberries

I swear the two of you are great friends ya’ll just show love to each other in quite a unique way

ANYWAYS

YeAH so you went to ask for the job cause you need money to buy a safe for your precious strawberries

You brought whatever requirements they asked for, and nyyOoooOOooooOOOOnged your way over there

It was a pretty old building, or radio station per se. not that it was bad or anything but, it isn’t exactly a place you would like to step into

Going up the stairs, you just saw a really TALL and attractive guy clearing out a few things in the booth. Your guess was that he was also probably new to this and whoever lent him the place didn’t exactly clean up the place.

With whatever courage you had in yourself

Or i guess how much sugar you consumed this morning cause you casually just walked it without contacting the guy

‘Uh... hello?’

HE JUMPED, whatever shit he was holding? Yeah it dropped

Which caused you to jump too, not expecting the huge ass pretty guy to have that big of a reaction

he looked over to you, surprised to see a person in the radio station because um,,, nobody ever goes there except for him

‘Hello to you too??? uhhh, not meaning to be rude or anything but, why are you here? Are you lost?’ He asks, looking extremely concerned

You just shook your head and deadass told him that there was a job offer for another radio show personality, and he looked eveN more concerned

Sorta like a ‘are u fucking serious’ face

‘Oh! Right. That job has been open for about a year now so I didn’t expect anyone to come at all...’

OHHhhHhh????????

Well,,,, i guess you have a better chance of getting the job?

‘Well.... do i get a higher chance of being accepted then for being the first to show up? You ask, unsure if whatever you said made sense, or was even socially acceptable

Imagine going to a job interview being like: ‘so i saw ur job offer, and since i actually showed up, I’m accepted right?’

Babe i dont think it works like that, but let’s continue

Johnny honestly had nothing to say against you though. You were right in a sense that you had no competition since you were the only one that actually came to apply. At the same time, he wanted the quality of the show to still be good even if there was a limited audience

‘Higher chance is indeed right. But tell me, uhh, what’s your name again?’

‘I actually never introduced myself, but it’s _______’

‘I’m Johnny by the way. So _______, why do you want to be a radio show host for Konkuk University?’

you had two ways to answer this question: (1) be blatantly honest that you really need the money, and talking to earn cash seems pretty great in your opinion or (2) repeat whatever the fuck sicheng has told you about the show

And of course, you were going with the first option

‘i honestly need the money because college is a bitch. And also talking and having discussions is a pretty fun and interesting method to get some cash in. Also because my roommate loves your show and why not ruin it for him by including me in it’

Babe

BABE SKDJKSDJKDSJKSDJSKDJKSDJ

Johnny actually wanted to accept you immediately. I mean for starters, he found you pretty adorable marching up to the radio station determined to get the job. And not only that, you were quite the talker, which is something that could spike up the show since it was just always johnny speaking

And also because he was feeling quite lonely but he would never admit that

‘Alright _____, meet me this friday to talk about next week’s segment’

OOFT

And let me tell you, tall boi’s assumptions were right. During your first show together, the two of you decided to talk about the book ‘1984’ by george orwell and although it may sound boring on a superficial level, yOU made it sound pretty interesting and johnny was actually just laughing the entire time

You and johnny just clicked in an instant, and your way of describing things made ‘Night Night’ known by the students

Nobody could ever forget your infamous line about the book: ‘george orwell’s sexual frustration is honestly so transparent in the book; all he needed was to get his dick wet then maybe he wouldn’t have let julia and winston be caught by the thoughtpolice.’

And things like this happened every wednesday. The pattern of your radio show just included you being you, and johnny trying to make shit be on track

The two of you were doing it for a very long time now, and back to toDAY where ya’ll have been doing it for two years, well... it would be a lie to say you hadn’t developed feelings for johnny

of course the man was beautiful and well-built. But his personality and laugh? Yeah sicheng should’ve warned you about that.

He is probably one of the most open-minded person in the world, and he knows a bit about everything, making him so well-rounded. And and and he’s to kind???

If you tell him that you can’t make it to the radio show, he says it’s okay and even gives you snacks the moment you come back and he just makes you so soft in general i—

Meanwhile for johnny, damn is he in love with you

Over the past 2 years, you definitely helped him open up more. With the way you speak along with your galaxy brain, he couldn’t help but fall for you? You were intelligent, you had your own mind, and being friendly and funny in general is something johnny really liked about you

The time when he realised he loves you was when you curled yourself up against the seat while you were discussing about what to talk about next week, and you just fell asleep. He noticed how soft and peaceful you looked, and that he would want to see you like this on a daily basis

Shit this is getting me all soft i wasnt planning on this nsndnsndnd

So yeaHHHHH this week’s segment, you guys were talking about the spanish conquest of mexico and peru woohoooo

AND you were very excited for this because this was one of your (my) favourite topics you learnt during your time in high school

‘OKAY, good evening everyone I am ______D,’

‘And I am JohnD, and welcome to’

‘Night Night. Oof, we’re getting better at our introductions aren’t we JohnD?’

‘Nope, you just learned how to say it without cringing’

‘Touché’ and ya’ll began your discussion. And things actually got pretty interesting.

‘So _____ you’re telling me that it was Cortes’ leadership that allowed the Spanish to successfully take over Mexico?’ He asks you in disbelief.

‘No you tall dumbfuck, it’s one of the attributes that led them to succeed. Both Cortes and Pizarro had disease on their side and better weapons, so of course they’d win. I just wanted to include leadership as i don’t know, to see the defeat of the aztecs from a new lens?’ You respond, deadass looking at johnny in the eye

‘Well, i don’t think i can argue with that, mainly because i am too scared too. That is it for today, but before we end this, i would like to add one more thing.’ Johnny says, which took you by surprise

huHhh?

You looked confused, in fact, you were confused.

What the fuck was going on?

‘This academic year is ending, and this so happens to be my last year here at Konkuk University...’

Oh shit

Your eyes softened at his words, just realising now that johnny was two years older than you, and yeah, he’s graduating this year

‘... this year has honestly been one of the greatest years here at Konkuk, but for me, I think of my my most memorable memories here was when ______D entered the station and giving me a huge fright’

You laughed a little, remembering how much you scared the man

‘Taking this opportunity, ______D, I want to ask you something’

Shit

BRUHHHHHHHHH

‘I just want to congratulate you and thank you for joining “Night Night.” You made the show livelier and massively increased the viewer rate with that big brain of yours—‘

‘I prefer the term galaxy brain’

‘—yes, galaxy brain. I hope that you can continue this radio show, and maybe recruit someone else while i’m out in the world of disgusting adults. So yes, thank you ______. And because we won’t be colleagues in a bit, will you be my girl/boyfriend?’

You were initially teary eyed, buT yEET those tears out biTCH what????

You wanted to say yes, bUt how?????

Do you just nod at him and go ‘ye,’ or do you like, confess?

You felt weird in the stomach. Not that you can exactly do 459343948 cartwheels in one go, but that’s exactly what your stomach was doing. If you were to speak, you could have vomited.

Idk what happened to you, but you took off your headphones, and went to the tall boy and just hugged the shit out of him cause umm,,,, SAME????

And johnny wasn’t sure what that exactly meant so he just hugged you back, bringing you to his lap and holding you tight against him cause honestly, when will he be able to do this to a person he genuinely loves

There was a moment of silence of you two just holding each other, until you realised you were still live with lord knows how many people were listening.

‘U-um, yeah Johnny, I w-will gladly be yours—‘

‘_____ I love you’

OKAY RETRIEVE THOSE TEARS BISH YOU CRYING NOW TF

You sorta just placed your head on the crook of his neck, quietly whispering to him

‘I can’t believe I love your tall ass too...’

‘SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME TOO!’

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justanotherboyinblue · 5 years ago

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Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify!!

is your room messy or clean? ...depends if i don’t have company, or i haven’t been made to clean it, it’s relatively messy. well. it’s not messy to me, because i know where everything is and why things are...not...put away, but messy to Literally Everyone Else

what color are your eyes? brown!

do you like your name? why? i Love my name mostly because i chose it and i like how it sounds I Just Think It’s Neat

what is your relationship status? taken! i have two beautiful partners that i love very very much

describe your personality in 3 words or less Chaotic Disaster Gay

what color hair do you have? also brown dkjbsgalk

what kind of car do you drive? color? i don’t drive! don’t have my license yet

where do you shop? anywhere and everywhere alksjdb meijer? ig?

how would you describe your style? Grunge

favorite social media account discord! ‘s how i talk to my babies :3

what size bed do you have? a twin! v comfy, v bouncy

any siblings? unfortunately two brothers both are Assholes

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? switzerland honestly first of all, lgbtq+ has been legal there since 1942 like look at them Go oh my gosh also! i love german, it’s such a fascinating language but the biggest reason? that’s where moje rojena wants to live

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t have snapchat, and don’t really plan to kjasbdl

favorite makeup brand(s) don’t wear it! the only thing i use is chapstick lmao a wonderful vanilla chapstick by Eos

how many times a week do you shower? sometimes every night, but mostly every other night! so three or four

favorite tv show? oh gosh there are so many she-ra is probably at the top i love supernatural, and elementary, bbc sherlock, person of interest, steven universe there are a bunch of amazing shows i love!

shoe size? i think i wear like a ten and a half quadruple e do with that as you will

how tall are you? 5′4 i think probably

sandals or sneakers? flip flops!! or barefoot kadjbsgl

do you go to the gym? i don’t think i’ve ever even seen the inside of a gym

describe your dream date cuddle pile some show or movie on tv So Many Blankets but the most important thing the Most Important thing is that my babies are with me and that’s all i really need

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? i don’t have any cash, but i have like a little over $50 on my card

what color socks are you wearing? white with gray designs

how many pillows do you sleep with? normally three, but i’ll bring in another three if i want to build a Nest:tm:

do you have a job? what do you do? no job! i think my first job will be working at my local library

how many friends do you have? uhhhhhhh no idea a dozen? idk maybe half a dozen i really have no idea, and i have a horrible memory

what's the worst thing you have ever done? I Will Not Divulge Such Information

what's your favorite candle scent? there’s this one candle we have that’s tide+kelp scented but it just smells like a speedstick it’s awesome

3 favorite boy names Leo (obviously) Tobias Axel

3 favorite girl names L(again, obviously) Celeste i’ve always loved the name Andromeda as well!

favorite actor? Ezra Miller!! they’re a nonbinary icon, first of all, and they’re an amazing actor in my opinion! they’re Credence in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Barry in Justice Leauge

favorite actress? hmmmmmmmmmm probably Margot Robbie tbh love her stuff also? have you seen the trailer for Birds of Prey? we Stan

who is your celebrity crush? don’t have one kjdsablg

favorite movie? oh gosh I Cannot Choose A Favorite Anything Okay i love Avatar(the one with the blue aliens not the Disgrace Of A Movie), and The Dark Knight, Captain Marvel, Abominable, and so many others

do you read a lot? what's your favorite book? i do! i used to read almost a full book every day Finding Me by Katheryn Cushman is really good, and so is Five Feet Apart, i love the Divergent series too!

money or brains? brains duh, if you’re smart you can make more money but if you’re an idiot with money what happens when you run out

do you have a nickname? what is it? not really kjabdsga my partners have their nicknames for me of course, but with my actual name you can’t have a lot of nicknames Leo calls me Q, i’ve been called Stefano and Viktor, one friend used Quimberly for a while akjfgbslkdfg

how many times have you been to the hospital? other than when i was born, i think only the once!

top 10 favorite songs Here We Go sweet tooth-Scott Helman adderall- Max Frost bambi- Hippo Campus roxxane- Arizona Zervas grixtronics- GRiZ iSpy- KYLE truth hurts- kidz bop (fuck off it slaps) walk man- TMG mr.clean- Yung Gravy peach scone- Hobo Johnson

do you take any medications daily? nope!

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) definitely oily

what is your biggest fear? Ya Boi Out Here With Abandonment Issues

how many kids do you want? i’ll stick with my fur babies thank you very much

what's your go-to hairstyle? in my face covering my right eye so i can’t see with it because it annoys my mother and i think i look Hot

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) medium i would think? we don’t have a second floor or a finished basement, but i’ve never had to bunk with either of my brothers so

who is your role model? no one specific! just, kind people, yk?

what was the last compliment you received? i think it was on...monday? when Leo kept telling me i was adorable XD

what was the last text you sent? to a gc with my partners saying i was going mia because I Have The Right To Not Interact With Anyone For Several Days And Watch Movies no i will not be taking criticism

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? like somewhere from seven to nine i think i have no idea dude, i have the memory of a goldfish

what is your dream car? .... 1967 black chevy impala

opinion on smoking? bad for you, love the smell, not gonna tell you to stop, will just worry quietly in the corner because i won’t tell you what to do with your life

do you go to college? nope! still in high school, i probably won’t go to college tbh

what is your dream job? owning my own bookstore! with a cafe a cat cafe i have it planned out to a concerning degree

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? i’ve lived in one place my entire life and it’s on the side of the highway with no neighbors so Suburbs Be Like Scary

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? oh absolutely

do you have freckles? no and i’m salty about it

do you smile for pictures? of course! never with my teeth tho because my canines are halfway up my face :)

how many pictures do you have on your phone? don’t have a phone! i have a Whole Bunch on my computer though

have you ever peed in the woods? did not work out tried once Never Again

do you still watch cartoons? of course i do i’m gay it’s legally required

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald's? i’ve never had McDonald's nuggets but Wendy’s has the best for sure

Favorite dipping sauce? ranch or campfire sauce

what do you wear to bed? pajamas???? in winter it’s long sleeve tees with fuzzy pants in summer it’s basketball shorts and whatever twenty-year-old shirt i can find in my closet

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never entered one so no homeschool for the win

what are your hobbies? Anything On A Screen and books mostly books on a screen but i’ll occasionally pick up a paperback also food and swimming

can you draw? s o m e t i m e s

do you play an instrument? i played guitar for a while, but i broke one of the strings and don’t have the tools to replace it i really want a ukelele

what was the last concert you saw? i went to a college campus for four days with my youth group, and a band named Sing Love played every night

tea or coffee? Neither

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Also Neither i’ve been to starbucks one time and it was the most disappointing drink i’ve ever had i am a loyal biggby customer even though i haven’t been there in over a year

do you want to get married? not in the traditional sense i couldn’t even if i wanted to because the us said No Polyam Rights

what is your crush’s first and last initial? L.R. + L.G.

are you going to change your last name when you get married? probably! or we’ll both take a new one together

what color looks best on you? warm colors!! i do look Fabulous in a nice cool forest green though

do you miss anyone right now? Of Course I Do I’m In A Long Distance Relationship With Two People

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed if it was open my asshole cat would eat all my hair ties and my fairy lights

do you believe in ghosts? nope!

what is your biggest pet peeve? uh people who assume? ig?

last person you called? Leo XD

favorite ice cream flavor? mint chocolate chip!!

regular oreos or golden oreos? The Golden Ones they taste like lemon even if they’re not the lemon ones i love it

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? i don’t like sprinkles because i’m a Monster

what shirt are you wearing? i’m Not It’s Hoodie Season

what is your phone background? my tablet backgrounds are Leo and L because i’m a Sap

are you outgoing or shy? Both i’m getting a lot better in the confidence department, but i still get nervous and overwhelmed sometimes!

do you like it when people play with your hair? I Cry Every Time and so does Leo it’s adorable

do you like your neighbors? if i did i would hate them because i Can

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? not outside of the shower

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? nope

last thing you ate? leftover itallian mac n cheese

favorite lyrics right now ..... ................. raindrops on rose and whiskers on kittens~ sTICKING-

summer or winter? winter!!

day or night? night, of course

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk! or dark with sea salt

favorite month? hm maybe august because it’s just starting to get cold, but you can also still swim on the warm days

what is your zodiac sign pisces! as i’m sure is obvious

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mother Because Leaving Me Alone For Five Minutes Is Impossible

thank you Luxet for the questions!

#meet the blogger #long post #tw cursing #tw caps #tw alchohol #tw drugs #tw marriage #tw college #i should #probably finish my school #after taking like two hours to do this #I'm A Responsible Child

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #241

“where once a heart was beating, nothing but embers glow. our love, it serves as kindling to stoke this flame’s inferno.”

Would you care if your partner did drugs etc? If it was legal here and just for medical purposes, I'd be fine with just weed. Otherwise, I treat the idea the same way as I would a tobacco smoker: no. Has anyone lost their virginity to you? I guess in a gay context? For two females, when is it really... "lost?" Idk. Do you live near a beach? Like... two hours away. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Ha ha, yeah... Do you enjoy going through the car wash? I do, actually. I'm still a little kid when it comes to the rainbow soap, ha ha. Have you done anything embarrassing lately? Oh, I'm sure. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? One. Would you consider painting your bedroom purple? Noooo, it wouldn't be cute y'all. Do you actually wear every shirt in your drawer? Ha, no... mainly because there's a handful of them that I'm working to shrink back into. Then there's others I'm self-conscious of because of color and having hyperhidrosis out the ass. Just wearing black disguises sweat the best. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one already, but I'm getting it covered at some point. I didn't put much thought into it and has no meaning to me now. I plan on getting the other collarbone tatted too, of course. Are you pregnant right now? Bitch fuck no. Do you still dress up for Halloween? Ugh, no, but only because I can't afford even things to put together my own costume. Not having anywhere to go only further discourages dressing up period. Who was the last male you talked to? My dad. Do you hate cuddling? Hell no, if I like you anyway. Do you have any bruises right now? No. Why did you take the last pill you took? They're my morning prescription meds. My last pill was for anxiety. Could you handle having kids? FUCK no. Nervous breakdowns would happen twice a week, I promise. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? Attractive? In anything? What a concept. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You do you, boo. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Gag, probably vomit. Or feces of some animals. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? GASOLINE. And fresh-cut grass. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Sit in the library doing schoolwork or whatever on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yeah; been in one already and I'm still open to dating another girl. What do you think of people who litter and do you? I openly fucking despise you. So obviously not. How much time do you spend online daily? If I'm not in school, I can like... guarantee you I'm on the computer doing at least something. Not always the same site, but I'm somewhere. I absolutely hate how reliant I am on the Internet. Do you wear sunglasses regularly? I never do. I need prescription sunglasses. Who was the last person you called? My mom. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. Do you tend to put things off until the last minute? OH YES INDEED. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours? Mom's is brown, and I cannot believe Dad was born with blond hair. HOW does that turn black. I was born dirty blonde. Are you afraid of getting shots? Nah, just the injection is kinda painful with how it burns. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? I very much so hate it. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo, I'm too awkward for that. Always have been. What’s the last piercing you got? Tongue. Do you have a best friend? Ye. What’s your internet homepage? Google. Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub? A tub. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Idk. What do you hear right now? "I Am Hell" by Machine Head. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Same person I like now. Did you speak with your father today? No. Are you currently frustrated with someone? No. Name one of your hobbies? Watch YouTube is high up there and like... the only thing I have motivation to do lately. I really hate it. I want my writing will to come back. What is your biggest worry in life right now? My lack of a job. Do you like hot or cold showers? Hot. Are you happy with your relationship status? I don't have a particular feeling about it. What colors would you like to have at your wedding? Depends on the season and the opinion of my spouse, too. How easy was it to get over the person you last dated? It didn't take too long, though it was really because the event left me believing we were, without question, getting back together once we are independent enough to live on our own/mutually move out. It's still possible we may, should life just play out where it works out, but it also was much easier to accept because we're still completely best friends. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? Not on paper, but pretty much. How old were you when you first smoked weed? But I never have. What is one thing that you’ve done that a lot of people said you couldn’t? Idk; I don't have a lot of unsupportive people in my life. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom. What was the last reason you cried? I listened to a song that deeply triggered my PTSD. Have you ever hated a song, and then later on found that you liked it? Yup, however that works. Did you have a good childhood? It was mostly normal, I guess? Do you play games on your PC? Just World of Warcraft right now. I started Alien: Isolation and Resident Evil 6 FOREVER ago, I just haven't had the motivation to finish either. Do you have a formspring? It's familiar, but I'm actually not sure what that even is. Do you know anyone that is racist? Welcome to the South. Do you have an active sex life? No. Are you defensive about anything? Yes. Have you ever driven 80+ mph? No. Have you ever changed a lightbulb? Yes. Have you ever gotten a bullseye in darts/archery? Darts, possibly. Never done archery. Do you have a Wii? Yeah. Do you own any animals that absolutely hate you? No. What brand is the computer you’re currently on? Acer. Are there any piercings you want but you’re too afraid it will hurt? The pain factor doesn't keep me away from piercings, so no. Do you think ear gauging is gross? When it gets to a certain width, to me anyway, it's pretty ew. I don't judge at all about someone having them, but it can get to a point where it just isn't appealing imo. Are you afraid of anyone in your family? Who and why? No. What’s the last scary movie you saw? Ummmm idk. It's been a long-ass time. I'm sure something in theaters, but I really don't know. Why aren’t you friends with your last ex? We are friends. When did you last spend the night at a friend’s house? A year ago when I was at Sara's. Did you ever watch 2Girls1Cup? Fuck no, I've never even looked into what exactly it is, but I know enough to know I don't wanna fucking see it. Do you have anxiety or depression? *shrugs* Why not both? Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? Never even had a basement to begin with lol. Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? lol no. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Big spiders. I particularly like writing spiders/orb weavers though, and watching big spiders eat is just fascinating. Have you entered the Lays create a flavor contest? Oh man how long ago was that??? No. Bagels or English muffins? Bagels gotta win it for me. Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? On Christmas especially, I love seeing my niece and nephew because they're just so excited. Brings me back to what it felt like as a little kid. Are Easter baskets only for kids? No. My sisters and I each had super cute baskets that Mom would fill until like... two years ago. Now that it's just me living with her, she'll just usually buy me a candy bar or something. Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? No. Do you think nutcracker figurines are creepy or cool? No opinion. Speaking of nuts, do you like them? For the most part, no. There are instances however where I can enjoy like little pieces of them with other kinds of food, ex. chocolate. What do you do when you are nervous? Dead giveaway: I'm kneading/playing with my hands. I pace naturally, but I do so more frequently when I am nervous. I'll have a harder time making eye contact, too. Does your family have an SUV or pick up truck? No. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? Dad. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? Some guy Mom knows through the dance studio. Where do you keep your phone at night? Usually to the right of my pillow, a bit far away, and up more towards the headboard. My bed's a queen-size and it's just me, so I have room where I won't hit it. If it has to charge though, then it's on the table beside my bed. Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or grandparents for money? No in almost every case. I'm only somewhat comfortable if it's Mom and I'm asking for like a snack from the gas station or something like that. What’s the last thing you lost? My phone, I think. If you could have your own car or an apartment, which would you choose? An apartment would be entirely useless as I am in no way competent enough to live alone yet, and a car wouldn't have much use seeing as I only have my permit and STILL pretty much never drive. It'd be more useful than an apartment, though. Last time you hid, and why: Uhhhhh. I have zero clue. How do you like your eggs? I'll only ever take them scrambled with cheese. Favorite Mexican food? Quesadillas. Upcoming event you are dreading? I'm happily enjoying it right now, but in another way, I'm dreading school break ending just because I am INCREDIBLY nervous about the effects of it on my legs with the whole muscle atrophy thing. I'm scared of regressing. Do you have a favorite pen? What kind? No. Do you do more surveys during the day or night? The day. Just shampoo, or shampoo + conditioner? Just shampoo. Conditioner adds oil to your hair, and trust me, my hair does NOT need any extra oil. Scariest driver you’ve ridden with: Dad the day he had to pick Nicole and me up from school and we had a 30-minute drive home. Basically, we got home in maybe 15 or less. He was in a fucking awful mood, speeding like hell, running red lights, passing illegally... I was entirely convinced we were going to die that day. Still one of the scariest of my life. Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why? It depends on the subject matter; in areas such as English, wisdom, stuff kinda like that, honestly yeah. In areas like common damn sense and mathematics, fuck no. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Paganism. I recently found that Neo-Paganism is the closest description for my spiritual beliefs; it covers such a broad spectrum, and it emphasizes the divinity of nature, free will (so long you are not inflicting harm upon another), the equality of man and woman (plus the beauty of humanity), and one of the concepts of the "ultimate being" includes not an actual deity, but just like this... source of energy and power. I don't even know if I believe it to be conscious, it's just like... the source, and it lies within nature. I'm still doing more and more research into it as I'm thoroughly intrigued, and I continue to feel more at home with its inclusiveness to an array of interpretations. What was the last thing to upset you? So beyond just an annoyance? Probably when this random fucking Facebook post of a father sharing just how proud he was of his son for killing wolves together and sharing purely evil photographs of them playing with/posing the bloody dead bodies (which included making them "snarl" at the camera, and mind you, their mouths were full of blood) popped up on my feed for no goddamn reason. Safe to say, I left a comment and got into a fight with a backwards son of a fuck who thought it was totally kosher to kill these "vermin" and used personal attacks versus logic to try in vain to prove his point, when all he did was accomplish me seeing him as the vermin. Where did you go to the last time you left your house? My sister's house. Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? Friendship ring with Sara as well as the bracelet she gave me. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Stealing the last answer of jumpsuits. Will you go outside today? Probably not. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? Not everything. I know I could do more. What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by? I don't think I have a set one that I always look to. I refer more to ideas, such as to be unrelenting in your goals. What is something you lie to yourself about? I don't know. I'm not good at that. What has been the best job you’ve ever had? lol What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? Day of the Dead. I know some do celebrate it here, but it's more of a holiday in Mexico. Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? Germany's, from what I remember. We learned quite a bit about them while I took it as a language. They are very serious about honesty and manners. What is something you judge about other people? How you treat others, certain aspects of ones personality (ex., arrogance), and as the previous person stated, to a certain degree anyway, moral/political/religious beliefs. What is something you do not want to discuss? I get really uncomfortable talking about sex, and though no one in my "real" life knows about it (except perhaps Mom due to an outburst during the breakup), I don't like even looking back on the Joel situation. There are also some political things I just don't want to talk about. Do you enjoy solving problems? No, shit's stressful. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic, 100%. Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert? I'm a pretty strong introvert, though not as much as I once was. I can get lonely kinda quickly now, but I still NEED my alone time. Are you socially anxious or awkward? OH BOY AM I!!!!!!! Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? NO!!!!!!! This needs needs needs to be normalized because it's stuff we all endure, so we should be comfortable talking about these things, asking questions, etc. Have you ever sent a love letter? Yeah. When you look up at the sky do you ever NOT see a plane or vapor trail? Yeah. Welcome to the country. Do you wear any shoes with holes because you can’t give them up? No. When you go out to breakfast, what do you order? Pretty much always pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. What’s the best compliment you’ve gotten from a boss/teacher? That when she came back to teaching, I was the exact kind of student she hoped for. What’s a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? lmao the first one that came to mind was Connie's "Einnoc." Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? No. What are you most envious of? Successful photographers lmao. Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Yes. Would you rather have coffee, cocoa, tea, or soda? UGH soda. That's my weaknesses. You could take sweets from me, but I'm pretty reliant on soft drinks. When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? I don't remember, actually... I haven't been there enough. Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? Wow, no. Have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? No. Do you like to visit famous people’s homes? I've never done that, and I find it disrespectful anyway. Give celebs their privacy, goddamn. Do you take days off from shaving when you can get away with it? The only thing I shave are my armpits, and considering I don't shower everyday, yes. Every time I do take one however, I always shave. Is there anything hanging on your bathroom walls? No. If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? No. Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? At some point, yeah, but not in a romantic context. It was with friends or family when we had limited space. Does your family regularly eat sit down meals together? Pretty much never. Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? SOBS "The Only Exception" by Paramore w/ Sara continues to sob What’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? None that I have now. If you could talk to one species of animal what would it be? Good question. I guess cats, as I have one and would love to know what he thinks. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever seen in person? An elephant, strolling RIGHT by the fence at the zoo. Have you ever used the change counting machine at a store or mall? Ohhh, I remember those! Yes. Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? We have a dog I honestly can't stand, and this is gonna get me mentally punched, but I don't know. NO, not BECAUSE I don't like him, but I don't love him enough to deal with those germs. I don't think I could stomach doing it. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? "Is going to be uncomfortable if you say one word to her but craves friendship anyway." Have you ever tried to learn a language on your own? No. Have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? The thing that upset me the most was when Teddy tore up the corner of one of my art pieces I'm most proud of. I cried. It was weird considering he never really tore up stuff... but alright then. What’s the best burger EVER? UGH I'm weak for Wendy's Baconators. Did you ever show up late for an important event? Probably at some point?

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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theadorablespderman · 5 years ago

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Please excuse the long post. But I want to write something for women about what I’ve learned, being a 21 year old women, about safety and the shit things women feel we need to do so we’re not attacked by shithead on a daily basis:

Two girls my age have been murdered 30 miles from where I live. The girl who was killed just recently was found and the suspect is in prison, he kidnapped her, killed her, and burned her body. And a girl 6 months ago was killed by a guy she dated for 2 weeks. It’s so scary being a woman and I live in a pretty safe area and it’s just heartbreaking. I’ve had some serious anxiety issues from this and I’m just scared to even meet any men or date or do anything because like this is what can happen. And these girls were smart, strong women and they’re just gone now and that’s terrifying.

Anyways guys I just haven’t been active on tumblr because this has been weighing heavy on my mind. Please women, practice safe dating, be aware of your surroundings, meet in public places, and don’t trust anyone alone until you’re sure you know them. It’s not our fault if we are murdered, it’s the killer, but unfortunately we have to try and minimize the dangers that come with being the sex we are (men get murdered too, I know this, but being a woman you’re raised in constant fear of what some men can and will do to you) I’m just saying women are born into this culture of being the weaker sex, the targeted sex, and dear lord my fellow women I wish we weren’t, so let’s fight back, let’s be safe, and that might not always work but know that I’m being you and so are millions of others. It’s so important to understand that we don’t need to seek protection. We can protect ourselves and police, neighbors, or family may not hear or heed our cries for help, for protection, for understanding but that is their wrong doing.

Idk guys.....I’m just feeling a lot of things and I want any young girl reading this...even if you’re not a girl, but I want to specifically let young women know:

1. You will never owe anyone anything you feel uncomfortable giving, or feel obligated to provide because the other party made you feel guilty, or lesser for not providing it (this includes your time, sex, conversation, money, or a smile)

2. Unfortunately, what we wear will be considered by some low life’s out there as invitations to take what you aren’t willing to give. You dress how you want to dress, but always be prepared to defend yourself. There are dangers to wearing certain clothing (but guess what, I still wear those items of clothing) but it is nieve to think that in the age we live in men (or possibly other women) will not in their fucked up brains think that’s still some fucked up invatation. Be prepared to slap those assholes, but don’t think they no longer exist because light has been shed of rape culture. Always always be prepared. No matter what your wearing, always know that someone is going to think you owe them something because of how you look (how much makeup you wear, what close you have one, damn it, what kind of music you listen to). They are awful people, but they exist so please be aware of that and do everything in your power to be vigilant of that. (I’m not wanting to victim blame any survivors. If you’ve been raped and have or haven’t done these things it is not your fault, you should never be blamed. It’s the asshole who violate you and no one else, but if there are ways we as a society can try and flush the assholes out before they can hurt anyone else, I want to try and make women aware of this. So please I love and support any survivors and would never dream of making you feel bad or lessor if you’ve been raped or abused. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT)

3. That leads me to three. Like I said. If you are abused, attacked, raped, beaten, etc. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. People will ask “why didn’t you do this?” Or “you should’ve done this” and that’s what’s already going through your head to some degree. It’s no ones bussiness to know why you made the choices you did. No is fucking no and fighting or letting whatever happen happen it’s no different. You are a survivor, you are still worthy of everything the worth has to offer ( that is good) and you are not at fault. People who point the finger at you are victim blamers and not worth your time.

4. You should always be aware of your surroundings as women. I’m in college and while walking to your car or anywhere really, my college campus has made sure to post flyers around the school about safety practices. I’ve also read online some things convicted rapists look for in their prey. Often they will look for a women who seems to be alone, most likely who seems distracted, either by taking on the phone, with headphones in, or looking down at something while walking. what I did during my night classes I would keep one headphone in while walking the long walk out to my car in the dark, I’d keep my headphone in, stay on the sidewalk with street lamps and away from any bushes and I’d call my mom because she’s the person I trust most in the world and lives close by that may be a different person for you. Anyways I would have her on the phone and because my headphone was in it didn’t look like I was talking to anyone. It made me feel safer and I still was able to stay aware of my surroundings) I would either but a hood over my head if I had my hair in a bun which is basically every day, but that is something rapists look for. Buns. It’s easy to grab.

Additional safe practices while walking anywhere even during the day in sketchy areas or just when your alone and someone could attack you, I always walk with my keys between my knuckles so I could punch and injure or impale any attackers. I will always text or call my parents (may be someone else for you) to let them know I’m leaving and I’ll let them know once I’m in my car. I also carry pepper spray and I keep my head constantly on a swivel. Looking behind me, side to side, and if I’m going through any parking lots I stay away from large vans or trucks...basically any car I can’t clearly see into from a distance. If I have to go between cars to get into my own I will often do a quick look over the car, under the cars, and check to see if anyone is around. I then will put my phone in hand ready to press the emergency button and I’ll unlock my car because it’s old as hell and I don’t have a remote. I hop in the car and immediately lock it again.

Do not accept someone’s request for your help if it has to do with putting anything in their car or lurering you away from a public place. If you do wish to help, find a local security guard, campus police, or even just a group of friends to come with you. But law inforcement is better. If it’s a legitiment request for help the person should not begrudge you for being extra hands or requesting a security guard help them. Additionally if you feel uncomfortable and someone disabled requests your help getting into a car or anything call 911 or your local police station that a disable individual require help getting into their vehicle and you feel that the police would be more qualified.

Often attackers bank on peoples good nature and disguise their plans in a veil of trying to get you to help them with odd tasks. Should you stop helping and being a good person? No! But be safe and aware while you do it!

5. Get an if I go missing file together. This is something off of Crime Junkies Podcast (amazing go listen if you haven’t already). If I go missing folder may seem grusom and errie but I promise it’s will help. You put all your passwords, account info, for you bank, phone, social media, everything in the folder. Make sure to keep it up to date and file anything away that might come in handy if you go missing. Tell one or two trusted family members or friends about it and it’s location (any access codes or other info on how to get to it) and only tell the people you know you could trust. This way if god forbid something does happen to you. Instead of having to wait for warrants and all that jazz, family members and friends can look into your recent history to see if you have in fact dropped off the grid, if there has been any unusual activity etc, and then they can provide this info to the police who will be days ahead of the investiagtion without having to serve warents to phone, bank, and other companies who other wise would not be able to provide account details unless they have your password and information. Doing a If I Go Missing folder could possibly lead the police to your kidnapped, killer, or if you’re alive, even you. It’s so so so so smart to have!

6. If someone attack’s you, leave as much evidence behind as you possibly can. Spit everywhere, throw up, pee, poop, scratch their bodies, get their dna allother you and get your all over them. If your being raped and can pee or poop or vomit on the attacker that is a very good way to try and stop them, it’s unexpected and they won’t want to be covered in your waste or vomit. Another self defense tactic my dad had told me from the time I was a child (sad he had to tell a child this) but if you can play as though your into the whole sexual getting raped thing long enough to get your hands free, and if your in a position where you can see the attackers penis, reach down like youre gonna touch and participate and then my dads exact words “grab his dick and squeeze tight, yank that thing and don’t stop till your arms are over your head” they might throw up from the pain but you can then hopefully make an excapr and if you were able to really injure them the police should find the guy with the torn scrotum in a hospital or at the crime scene. There are things you can insert into your vagina, it looks like a weird condom almost and I’m sure there are multiple kinds but it’s an anti rape device that when inserted if you are raped the insert will act as though it’s a condom when they insert their penis into the vagina, the insert will allow the penis to enter, but when it’s pulled out the man will find his penis now has a barbed condom basically stuck to his penis that basically will shred it if he tries to take it off. Here’s a picture:

There are other amazing things out there but don’t let someon threaten you into leaving an area, or threaten you into having sex or anything. You always have a choice and even with a gun to your head it’s better to scream, not always, but most of the time this will scare the attacker and they will then start running. You could be killed still, but people will know what happened, there is most likely be witnesses, and there won’t be a search for the body.

Sorry I know this is so not my normal blog post and it’s not even fandom but I want everyone to feel like this is a place we can talk about how to be safe as a women. If anyone has ideas or things they do to help their safety pleas reblogg or just comment or just share with some one somewhere about our rights as women. I want to know what my fellow sisters do to stay safe, or if there are any questions.

I don’t pretend to know what it’s like as a victim. I was jumped by a man on a date when I thought he seemed like a nice guy, and I let him drive me over to my car in the dark. He put my seat down and was all over me in a second. Hands on my breasts and butt. I said no after unfreezing and I felt so so sick like I was nothing. But he did stop when I said no and I got out of the car and cried and sobbed. My dad held me for an hour when I got home because I knew I was a lucky one. So I’m not a victim, I was lucky because he could’ve easily raped me and he didn’t. So I don’t pretend to know what it’s like, but that pure gut wrenching, sickening terror I felt in that car for five minutes gave me a look what it must be like and I just want the women out there to know we can be safe and then even if we are or aren’t safe you never ask to be raped or killed or attacked. We all have awful stories but it’s important to voice “no” and to fight back. It’s important we she we are not to be trifled with.

Anyways. I’m sorry again for that taking long and thank you for letting me ramble. I feel my anxety has dropped a level. Stay safe out there!

#true crime #crime junkie #crime #protecting women #women #feminist #women feminist #sorry for thr long post

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kaspbroughed-blog · 7 years ago

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Soulmates

Part 2/? Ships: Kaspbrough, Stozier, maybe more in the future idk Trigger Warnings: Beware...this is kind of cute.

After Eddie said goodbye and went inside his shared apartment with Richie, he put away his leftovers and got ready for bed, despite the fact it wasn’t even 9 o’clock yet. He curled up in bed and turned his TV on, deciding to find some cheesy movie on one of his many movie providers. Despite his protest of love, he put on Love, Actually, and fell asleep thinking about the tattoo on his best friend’s arm. The tattoo was small, a black bird. Richie had stated his arm had been burning for a few days, which Eddie had seemed to ignore, despite the fact that was usually the number one sign that your soul mate was nearby.

As Eddie begins to fall asleep, his right arm begins to tingle, but by the morning time, it’s been forgotten.

Eddie wakes up around 8 AM the following morning and begins his daily routine. He doesn’t bother brewing any coffee, because he knows Richie wasn’t going to be there ; he knew this even before Richie texted him that night, informing him of just that. Eddie doesn’t drink much coffee, anyways. For the most part, the only time he really drinks coffee is when he makes it for Richie or at his job – otherwise, he probably wouldn’t even think to make any. Instead of getting coffee, he brews up himself a hot cup of green tea and makes some toast. When the toast pops, he lathers an unhealthy amount of butter on it and proceeds to pour sugar over top of the toast.

The first time he did that, Richie looked at him like he’d been insane.

( “What are you doing, Eds? That cannot be healthy!” “It’s not,” Eddie replied with a blank look on his face. “But when you have a mother like mine, you would also want to relish in anything and everything sweet when you get the chance.”

Richie never mentioned anything about it again. )

After breakfast, Eddie got his day officially started. It was Saturday, which, with all intent and purposes, meant that the Café on Campus would be closed – it was only open during the week days. Eddie tried sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays for this reason, but discovered that it was nearly impossible, due to their upstairs neighbors, whom had a two year old child that woke up at 7:30 AM on the dot every morning. Richie somehow seemed to sleep through it, whereas, Eddie could not.

He dressed in a bright pink polo ( “You know, Eddie, everyone knows you’re gay. You don’t need to show it off so much,” Richie teased him countless times for his attire. ) and khaki shorts with his worn black and white converse. Richie made fun of him, saying he’s been wearing the same things since they were in high school and Eddie usually didn’t react very kindly to it. Although… he wasn’t all that far off. Eddie wore the same size of shoe since he was sixteen years old and probably didn’t grow that much in height or weight since then. Bullies in high school called him a twink, which, at the time, he found highly offensive because he hadn’t yet come out to anyone – how could he when Sonia Kaspbrak put her nose up to anything that didn’t fit her views in life? Luckily, having Richie as a best friend, meant those bullies often got their faces smashed in – though, Richie rarely left without a bruise or two himself.

Once he was ready, teeth brushed, hair combed, all the necessities for the day, Eddie set out to the library. He had an exam on Thursday and despite the fact it was Saturday, he found it was necessary to begin his studying right away. Plus, the school library was usually barren of students on the weekends, so he always managed to settle in as quietly and as invisible as possible.

Today was different, though.

When Eddie arrived to the library, there was a new face greeting him at the front desk. He was a tall boy, with dark hair that seemed to glisten red in direct lighting – damn, Eddie was blown away.

He approached slowly, his nerves shaking him up and he has to turn away to pull his Inhaler from his trusty Fanny Pack, punching it into his mouth, and clicking it a few times. Eddie knows it isn’t his asthma that’s sparking up, but his anxiety, yet it helps calm him down regardless. When he finds he’s gathered enough, he finishes his trek to the front desk and offers a small smile to the boy standing there. Eddie failed to realize that this boy had been watching him the entire time.

“Y-you o-okay?” The boy asked, concern sweeping his features when Eddie paused at the desk. Eddie was about to ask him what he meant, when the boy answered it for him and motioned towards the Inhaler still in Eddie’s hands.

“Oh. Um, yeah, sorry – sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed. It was a long walk.” Now that Eddie is closer, he can see the freckles littering the boy’s features, bright blue eyes startling him so much that he has to release another breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding.

The boy doesn’t seem to notice – either that or he chooses to ignore it, for Eddie’s benefit.

“Have you always gone to this school?” Eddie asks, surprising even himself as ocean eyes, stare, evidently just as startled.

Laughter bubbles past plump lips and Eddie finds he can’t stop staring.

“I juh-just m-moved in with m-my fuh-friend a f-few weeks ago, but I’ve been d-doing online classes. He thought if I w-was going to do s-school at all, I m-may as well experience it t-the same way as him, you know?” He says, his ocean eyes never leaving Eddie’s face when he talks. He likes eye contact and Eddie supposes that makes sense, considering it’s probably hard for some people to take him seriously, considering his stutter. Of course, Eddie would never mention it – that would be rude, and he fashioned himself as a nice person… most of the time.

“Oh,” Eddie replies. “I wish I could talk my best friend in coming to school, but he’s fucking persistent that if he did, he’d never come to class, anyways.”

The stranger nods his head and smiles. His smile is beautiful, just like the rest of him, and Eddie’s face lights up in embarrassment from the thought. “T-that makes sense, though.” He nods and opens his mouth to continue when an elderly woman – the librarian – comes out from the room behind Mr. Beautiful and barks at him.

“What are you doing? I told you we need to finish alphabetizing these books! Get to it! We don’t have all day!” She doesn’t even acknowledge Eddie.

“O-okay, I’ll be ruh-right there, Mrs. Palinski.” She disappears back into the office halfway through Mr. Beautiful’s statement. He turns back to Eddie and shoots him a sheepish look. “S-sorry, I g-gotta go. F-first week, I can’t m-make a bad impression.” Before Eddie has a chance to respond, Mr. Beautiful disappears into the office after the librarian, leaving Eddie alone, staring at the spot where the other had just been standing.

Eddie finds himself at a loss. He doesn’t see Mr. Beautiful again and he can hardly concentrate on his studying – so he leaves before lunch time and heads on home. When he gets back home, he finds that Richie is already there… and thankfully, there was no sign of Stan.

Eddie feels immediately guilty when that thought passes his mind and he shoves it away. If Richie was happy, he really needed to learn to be happy for him.

Richie notices Eddie before Eddie speaks and smiles broadly at him.

“Eddie Spaghetti!”

Eddie wrinkles his nose in distaste and he slinks his backpack to the ground and shuts the door after himself. “I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

His protest is unheard as Richie flings himself at his best friend, giving the shorter boy a noogie. “Studying not go well for the Nerd?” He teases, initiating a groan from him.

“I got… a little distracted.” Eddie admitted sheepishly when Richie pulls away, fixing his hair.

“You? Distracted?” Richie has the right to be in disbelief ; Eddie was rarely ever distracted from school work. He was even on the fucking honor roll and in honor society – he tended to work harder on school than most of his peers and there really wasn’t much of a rhyme or reason for it, he just wanted to do it.

“There was… a cute boy, okay?” Eddie murmurs quietly, almost too quiet to be heard by his best friend. Unfortunately for Eddie, Richie heard it and the grin on his face widens, making Eddie cringe away from him.

“A cute boy!” Richie exclaims and pinches Eddie’s cheeks. “Does Eddie have a wittle crush?”

Eddie blushes and scowls, batting away Richie’s hands. “No, Richie! I literally just met him. He’s just… kind of hot, okay?”

This hardly fazes Richie and he laughs. “Okay, whatever you say, Eddie Spaghetti. Did you get his number?”

Eddie scowls again. “As if. I don’t even know his name.”

“I hate to be the one to say this Spaghetti Man, but you probably need to work on that.”

“Whatever, Richie – it doesn’t matter. How was your night with Stanley?” Eddie asks, adverting the topic from himself as he moves around Richie and going into the kitchen.

The grin on Richie’s face does not go away and Eddie can swear up and down, he literally saw hearts forming in his best friend’s eyes. “Oh, Eddie! Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Eddie finds, later, that no, he did not want to know.

#kaspbrough #stozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #stan uris #richie tozier #my fic #here u go my friends asdfghjkl

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allsystemsarenotgo · 4 years ago

Text

Emotions, Emotions, Oh how they suck....

I promised (though not directly) my friend that if I was ever worried, I’d contact the campus police, her roommate, or check on her myself.

I executed this promise.

My friend was taken very aside by it. But at least I know she is okay.

And now I’ve gotten myself into a mess. I had a dedicated hour session with my counselor tonight, and all that did was make me feel like shit.

I'm going to pour a bucket out... Idk how this is going to spill.

I hated having to go to her dorm Thursday night. But she hadn't sent me a message since Saturday nor read any since Monday. I had made a promise with her that if she ever made me concerned, that I would show up and check on her myself. I've had three (technically 3.5?) Police welfare checks sent on me, I know how painful they are, and don't want to put her through that. I kept that promise. I understand the making her feel uncomfortable. It's still way more comfortable than an official check.

I'd love to know how her boyfriend's mom got involved. I'm glad she didn't block me at their request, but really? Not even offering a chance to explain? Just cold-ghosting a really close family friend because that's what your boyfriend and his mom want?

She hid me from her boyfriend for so long. I told her a long time ago that he needed to know I existed so that our powers could be balanced and he not see me as a threat. Instead, way down the road, it's "Hey, I've been talking to a guy for the least few months almost daily, and he came over to my dorm to help me study and have me a massage and we went out to dinner". Well, of course he is going to hate me!

I can understand some of the conflict in her mind. When I came to see her on Dec4, she realized that the love she craves and was having withdrawls from, is available from more than just her boyfriend. She didn't cognitively acknowledge that realization, she was being loved on and liked it.

It wasn't intimacy or physical love. It was feeling another person's touch, spending time with them, laughing with them, having intellectual conversations with them.

And I can see how that would split her heart between two love sources. Even when one wasn't intended to convey that level of love.

I scrolled back through her and I's chat long back to October 1 yesterday. Seeing some of the things she said about how much she cares(s/d) about me, how I made her happy, how important we were/are to eachother, how I may be the only voice of reason that has allowed her to still be alive after her emotional fallout and suicidal kick in September. Part of me thinks that maybe she was growing feeling roots but wasn't aware of it.

And maybe, now those roots are starting to sprout above the surface and that is what has caused her this discomfort, especially after my visit Dec4.

I invited her to {married friends}'s groupnight on Dec11. I knew she was conflicted because she's not a very social person (like me) but also wanted to be around a bunch of smart people. But she did attend. But she spent the first hour standing in a corner reclused, having to pacify her boyfriend who didn't understand why she was at a stranger's house, much less older people. He said it was stupid and pointless for her to be there just to meet people/socialize/relax. She enjoyed being herself once a stage-hook pulled her out of that corner.

She felt more distant after that night, though we did still talk. She spent 2.5 weeks at her grandma's ranch with no cell service, so she didn't get to talk to either her boyfriend or myself for most of that period - sometimes she could get signal to send a one-liner every now and then.

When she came back to her parents' house, I was invited over for dinner Jan15. She seemed excited and happy to see me, and even took me to feed her horses with her just for the time together. Then we had dinner and played card games. But then she was on her phone again, having to pacify her boyfriend, who didn't understand why I was at their house, engaging with her and her parents, and calling me alot of nouns and adjectives.

After her parents went to bed, they allowed her and I to stay up as late as we wanted. We did talk for a little while. But she ended up shooing me out of the house at her boyfriend's request so that he could call her. Later, she said it felt wierd that I was being given an open curfew when they make her and her boyfriend obey a specific curfew.

She didn't know how to process this "unfair treatment" that comes with the territory of being a friend and trustworthy.

I'm not saying that I have been perfect through all of this. I may not know the pain, but I at least have a general idea of how I think her heart is feeling.

After I left her dorm at her request (she didn't want to see me in person, politely told me she is stable and for me to leave, so I did), she did chat to me a little more. That she just needs time to comprehend her heart, to figure out how to balance me and her boyfriend co-existing, to evaluate herself. That she still cares about me but doesn't know how to process it.

She ended Thursday night with "I don't want to lose this friendship, but I can't lose Brayden either...I just need to figure this out..."

I felt and slept better, knowing that she was at least stable and cognitive.

Then she sent this to me Friday at 10:30, after her counseling appointment.

0 notes

nerdexpress · 7 years ago

Note

All of them. I dare

Oh Christ **Long Post Ahead**Personal Stuff Ahead**

1. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?- I mean sure why not, I’d love to date somebody

2. When did your last hug take place?- A couple weeks ago at a school thing

3. Are you a jealous person?- I don’t think so

4. Are you tired right now?- YES

5. Do you chew on your straws?- No

6. Have you ever been called a tease?- I’ve used omegle video chat a few times in my life and creeps would get irritated that I wasn’t there to sext them so yeah a couple of times (I do not go on there anymore I only went to either talk with people across the world, I was bored, or I wanted to play pranks on people)

7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?- Yes, one summer I stayed up all night without realizing it and I felt fine like the whole day and still went to bed late

8. Do you cry easily?- No, I do tear up but not often full on cry

9. What should you be doing right now?- Doing my laundry and cleaning my dorm and going to bed

10. Are you a heavy sleeper?- Kind of yeah

11. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?- No idea since I’ve never been in a romantic relationship but I hope I could

12. Are you mad at someone right now?- No

13. Do you believe in love?- Yes

14. What makes you laugh no matter what?- I don’t know tbh. Funny youtube videos

15. What was the last person you talked to?- In real life, a friend from college, but I am also chatting with my roommate through tumblr right now

16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like?- Okay I don’t have a crush on anyone currently, and I’ve only had a couple of Actual crushes but one of them was easier to talk to while the other I was terrified of accidentally staring at them so I just. Didn’t so I’ve got no clue what my regular feelings are but due to anxiety I probably would be just a mess

17. Will you get married?- I hope so

18. When was the last time you smiled?- 20 minutes ago as I finished rewatching the almost 2 hour youtube video on why Sherlock sucks. Good video.

19. Does anyone like you?- I don’t know

20. Do you secretly like someone?- No

21. Who was the first person you talked to today?- The cafeteria lady who gave me my eggs and bacon for breakfast

22. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?- My roommate

23. What are you NOT looking forward to?- Classes starting again on Monday

24. What ARE you looking forward to?- Seeing my roommate again on Sunday bc she’s been gone for the whole month and I finally get to give her her birthday present

25. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?- No because I’ve never been in a relationship

26. Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?- I don’t have any ex partners so SKIP

27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year?- I am in college and my school won’t let anyone live off campus during the year so no. I can’t leave either of my parents’ houses either because I can’t rent anywhere because my job is a campus job not meant for me to live off of and again, I have to live on campus anyway

28. Are you a forgiving person?- Depends on what the person did

29. How many TRUE friends do you have?- 5

30. Do you fall for people easily?- No

31. Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?- Don’t have an ex so SKIP

32. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?- Conversation hearts that I am still eating

33. Who was the last person you drove with?- I think my mom? It’s been over a month so it was probably with my mom over Christmas break

34. How late did you stay up last night and why?- Oh I didn’t sleep. I was trying to fix my schedule but then I fell asleep for like 6 hours later on today so idk how my body is working itself out right now

35. If you could move somewhere else, would you?- I mean maybe but idk where to go. There isn’t a specific destination I have in mind for my future

36. What was the last person you took a picture of?- I took a selfie with my friend Sarah when we hung out on Christmas break

37. Can you live a day without TV?- Yeah, I did that today even

38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?- I had to miss a stream from Seb a couple weeks ago on the ONE night that week that I worked

39. Three names you go by: Miranda, Panda, Punk Mermaid

40. Are you currently in a relationship?- No

41. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?- Moulin Rouge

42. Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?- Yes but it’s not just one soulmate. Your best friend for life is a soulmate, your romantic partner who you marry or just live the rest of your life with is your soulmate, other factors and types of relationships can be a sort of soulmate. It’s a connection, it’s togetherness and closeness.

43. What’s your current problem?- OH BOY so I have several. I can’t sleep at normal times, my school schedule isn’t working out and I have classes on Monday, I’m suffering from anxiety and self-doubt because I don’t know how to conduct myself in social situations and feel completely invisible to people in my daily life and I feel forgettable, I have anger issues because I’m angry in general but also specifically because I have not fully healed from living with my mom’s ex boyfriend who was abusive and toxic from ages 13 to 17 and my mom isn’t dealing with her problems from that relationship and it is causing trouble for my brother who I feel bad about leaving behind at home, I have personal anxiety about tumblr because of some drama that I tried to make people aware of but hardly anyone payed any attention and now the person it was about just gets to live their life on here while I get to live with the grief of dealing with how I see people and I am still naive on a person’s true nature because of them and people I follow and am mutuals with continue to follow them though I can’t see their posts because they blocked me which is fine I only know because I can still see when people reblog from them, I can’t bring up the energy to clean my room, I miss my roommate, I’ve been lonely for most of my life and idk how to fix it, I’ve barely left my room in a month, and I’m just. Miserable.

44. Have you ever had your heart broken?- Not from romantic relationships, no. But it’s been broken by a collection of other things. (see above and guess the history)

45. Your thoughts of long distance relationships?- They’re beautiful. The resilience and closeness people can get even from being far away is romantic and lovely and I hope the best for each person in those relationships.

46. How many kids do you want to have?- Two

47. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?- If this is talking about a crush, I have never told a crush ever that I liked them.

Sorry for the long post!

#long post #miranda answers your questions #anonymous #food mention

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chaosbisexual · 7 years ago

Note

1-92 mofo

FUCK RIGHT OFF MATE OK

(lov u)

i took off the ones abt sex except for 1 bc i can

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

on tumblr…. it was u babe so take that how u like

on imessage… no my dude

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

NOPE MY EX IS ON DRUGS

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

ehhhhh idk possibly

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

no but like he’s in my classes?

6. What are you excited for?

yr 10 formal and finished for the year

7. What happened tonight?

i made fajitas watched youtube and read fic,,, but it’s only 7pm

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no do what u want… i just get annoyed when straight girls are suddenly making out with every other girl in sight BC BITCH Y CAN’T THE GAY GIRL GET SOME

9. Is confidence cute?

y e s self love is super hot

10. What is the last beverage you had?

tea11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

like one or two?

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

three actually THEY MAKE MY BUTT LOOK GOOD

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

refer to 7

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

bus fare

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

what kiss

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes what the hell

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

uhhhhhhhh like leah, the space gals, and my pal steph

18. The last time you felt broken?

probs yesterday

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

i can’t study and i hate having feelings for people

21. Are you in a good mood?

eh im in neutral u made it better tho lmao

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yea y not

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no i am harry potter in which i have my Mother’s eyes

24. What do you want right this second?

more fajitas

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

…huh

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yes but i think due to the sun it’s a bit lighter than usual

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no omg humour is important

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

the vid u sent me

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yep my mother

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

i think so but there’s a line between 2 chances and 50 and if you have to give someone more than like 2 extra chances drop them lol

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

no he’s a butt but he’s ok and he helped me make fajitas

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

look i honestly don’t know but if he doesn’t then H O W

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

lmao no i wish

34. Listening to?

africa by toto, next in the queue is paint by the paper kites

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yes my last test was in pencil

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

again w the whole NO ONE HAS KISSED ME THING

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no love is not purely based on appearance lol

38. Who did you last call?

the guy who i’m doing my psych pres with

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

my pal nat in a stationary shop

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

HMMM AGAIN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

props like the last time my history teacher brought them to class

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nope lol

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

YES CONSTANTLY

44. Do you tan in the nude?

whats tanning dont know her

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

IF THIS HAPPENS ONE M O R E TIME

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

nope i wish tho

47. Who was the last person to call you?

my dad

48. Do you sing in the shower?

hell yea i do

49. Do you dance in the car?

hell yea i do

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

yea twice

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

like 3 weeks ago for a school thing but the angle was gross

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

NO THEY ARE MY LIFE AND SOUL

53. Is Christmas stressful?

YES I LOVE SHOPPING BUT NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR EVERYONE

ok i can’t be bothered to do the the format like that anymore rip nice structure

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

a wot

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

apple and blueberry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

vet or journalist, still wanna write to some degree lol

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

i think there is something beyond what we see but idk

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

yes omg sometimes before i travel to somewhere new i dream abt the place and then i get there and im LIKE I HAVENT BEEN HERE BEFORE WHY DO I KNOW IT and it’s bc i dreamt abt it

59. Take a vitamin daily?

HHAHAHAHAHAH

60. Wear slippers?

no BAREFOOT BBY

61. Wear a bath robe?

nah dressing gown tho

62. What do you wear to bed?

t shirt dress or men’s shirt

63. First concert?

taylor swift im sorry

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

K MART BITCH

65. Nike or Adidas?

nike but i dont wear either

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

CHEETOS WE DONT HAVE FRITOS IN AUS

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

peanuts dude

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

currently sparks fly or the live back to december

69. Ever take dance lessons?

NO I GOT FRIENDS WHO DANCE THO

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

lowkey want to marry a painter or a designer 71. Can you curl your tongue?

yeee boii 72. Ever won a spelling bee?

nahh 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

YE at my sister’s wedding and at the disco last year lmao

74. What is your favorite book?

hp, trc, or i’ll give you the sun

75. Do you study better with or without music?

wWITH

76. Regularly burn incense?

nah got a wax burner

77. Ever been in love?

ppffft i wish

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

hozier, arctic monkeys, the lumineers, dua lipa, lorde, hippo campus, the weeknd

79. What was the last concert you saw?

taylor swift but i’ve been to like festivals since then?

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

hot but since summer is a comin

81. Tea or coffee?

tea

82. Favorite type of cookie?

white choc macadamia

83. Can you swim well?

i could before i got boobs

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes

85. Are you patient?

NOPE

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

baND (mostly bc last time i went to a wedding w band the singer was HOT and she could sing like beyonce)

87. Ever won a contest?

uhhh i think so?

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

nope lol

89. Which are better black or green olives?

don’t eat either!

91. Best room for a fireplace?

LIVING ROOM OR BEDROOM GUY

92. Do you want to get married?

i think so but also i cannot understand why anyone would want to marry me

ok i lov u more than i love steve harrington have a good night lad ! this was v long i hope ur happy

#sarah #asks #long post #w-byers #HONESTLY THIS WAS A JOURNEY

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pet-diary · 7 years ago

Text

Today was a good day so far (it’s around 4pm). I went out w/ Jordan (eek, I don’t wanna tag you bc then it’s like I’m saying “HEY READ THIS” and that seems weird?), which was really fun. It’s nice to have a friend irl again, it’s been too long honestly which is sad, haha. So thank you for hanging out with me! <3 <3

I haven’t been doing much since I got home, mostly just online/phone chores, like cleaning up my email and organizing files. I might study some verbal/vocab later for the GRE. I really need to do that daily... I’ve had no motivation lately, it’s been so bad.

Trev and I went ahead and signed for another 9 months on our lease today (I think it’s 9, might be more). They didn’t raise our rent, and we’re currently not paying a pet deposit bc the guy who was running the place when we first moved in did not give one shit, lol. So we got lucky there (we have 3 pets!!). The next guy that took over was really cool about the pets, but he’s left now and there’s someone new. Hopefully because we signed the lease already, he won’t be able to do anything about the pets or pet fees now... We’ll see I guess. We really need to get break-in insurance for the car and start parking in the street instead of the garage because that shit is EXPENSIVE. I’m not sure how much the insurance is though, it might not make a difference in the end, just become an inconvenience.

I’m really glad to be settled about what were doing though. It was getting to the point where Trev was saying we might look at one apartment and decide to apply right then and there, meaning we’d have to move within that week or something. Completely scary to consider right now since we literally just got settled in to this apartment. Finally put art up on the walls after being here almost a year, finally have some space made for all the food and dishes in the kitchen... I really did not want to pack all of that back up again and move. We would have saved money most likely (depending on where we moved), but in the end, I think it’ll be better that we stayed here. We need to wait and see what we’re doing next year before making a decision about what neighborhood to live in. I don’t even know what school I’ll be going to, and Trev doesn’t even know if he’ll still be at the same job... I’d rather have more time to look for places anyway. It’s hard to find something that fits all of our criteria (we have 3 pets!!).

Anyway...

Yesterday I went searching for more internships/volunteer positions/jobs to apply for since the one I wanted wasn’t accepting people anymore. I found a bunch, but not sure if they accept people outside of the school that runs the projects... On one site they say they do, but some of the listings mention things like class credits required or whatever, and Idk. Honestly, I love my school, it’s been exactly what I needed in my life at the moment (with all the moving), but being an online telecommuting student living in Washington (as opposed to Arizona, where my school is based) can be such a giant pain in the ass. I do not have the same kinds of opportunities I would have if I was able to get to campus... And that really sucks. It holds me back a lot from taking some of the basic steps I need to take to further my career goals... :/ Idk. This kind of stuff makes me feel so lazy and tired about continuing on with school, but I really need to get my energy back up and keep going...

I’ll probably try to apply to a few this week... Some of them are labs working with monkeys! Wtf, how interesting would that be? But also probably really sad. I think they’re treated well, they’re not testing products on them or anything, just studying their behavior. But I don’t know what they’re doing with them so it’s impossible to know if it’s humane. I imagine it must be though because the job is all about enriching their environment in the lab, plus they must have a ton of interest groups watching them and making sure they adhere to the proper protocols for animal welfare (I hope)... Other than not being a student at any of the unis here, I’m super qualified for it! Lots of animal work experience. :) I’m also pretty qualified for the autism stuff because of all of my past internships and volunteering... I’m trying to remind myself that I’m capable and qualified because I feel so intimidated by this city and the schools out here and the people... So so intimidated... :(

I honestly feel like I am about to fall asleep so I think I’m going to play a little Skyrim for a while and eat something. Picked it back up last night, it’s been a few months since I last played.

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neurobiologie · 8 years ago

Photo

{e.j. pratt library, u of toronto}

3.24.17 : long post: organizing my thoughts about university, esp u of toronto. feedback and commentary are welcome, particularly from mcgill and utsg students.

current state of affairs / background

i know it’s early and that most schools have not responded to reg decisions yet. and yet, i’ve had the “reviewed - decision pending” label from McGill for weeks now. duke, emory, brown, uc berkeley, and a bunch of my other (reach) schools said they’d respond in a few days, at the end of march, but (as I’ve told my parents - my father agrees) the tens of thousands of $’s per year difference b/w my US and canadian schools makes canada so much more appealing. I want to go to med school, as does my younger brother. if i keep my undergrad costs low, i won’t need student loans and my family won’t need to stretch too much, which to me, is a privilege i am well aware of.

mcgill vs. u of toronto (st. george)

i can see myself happy at mcgill, but with each passing day, it feels more and more like i’ve been rejected. my mom, who has done zero research, says uoft is horrible (”nobody in canada talks about it; they talk about mcgill” and “what if nobody’s heard of it, so credit doesn’t transfer to american medical schools?” to which i say “1. it’s known for research. med schools have heard about them, more so than most US undergrads, i’m sure. 2. mom, you haven’t been there in at least 20 years; things change. 3. dad knows the dean of admissions at Emory’s med school and that guy says the top canadian schools are just as good as the top american ones. med schools accept both. everything online says the same thing.).

it’s not that i’ve resigned myself to going there, but they did accept me - and i refuse to think of it as my second choice or not what i wanted because i know that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and then i definitely won’t be happy.

besides, it really seems like mcgill demands a tradeoff - nasty living conditions but a good social life (except, do i really want to be drinking and partying?) or luxury that makes it hard to have a social life. at u of t, there’s no question - new college. maybe i eventually transfer, but again, life sci llc.

life sci (challenge?), New College

i’ve heard mixed reviews (life sci is apparently v difficult to get a good GPA in...but i’ve taken most of the first year courses as AP’s already, so surely i’ll have a soft start. plus, being accepted early means they think i’m good, right? furthermore, i want a challenge)(new college isn’t as coveted as trin or vic but it really sounds like the best fit for me, especially with the life science living learning community and it being home to Human Bio classes).

new college: stereotypes...that i didn’t know about when i ranked my colleges, but probably fit me

i get that being across the street from the athletic centre stereotypes it as being for athletes (jocks), but like, that sounds fantastic for me - cold weather will be a struggle, so barely going outside but easily accessing incredible exercise facilities sounds ideal. i’m not much of an athlete, but i do want to exercise and as it is, i run a lot. i get that it’s stereotyped as being extra international and therefore Asian, but guess what? i was born and raised in Hawai’i, i’m half chinese, and i’ve grown up with East and Southeast Asians forming the most dominant ethnic/racial group. maybe the familiarity will be good for making friends.

hello, rose-tinted glasses ~ oops (i really am trying to be aware of flaws, though)

when i first started seriously looking at universities, I figured that I didn’t want a huge city (NYU) or a huge public school (UC Berkeley...applied anyway). and yet,

omg there are three muji’s in tnt...and a uniqlo. i don’t expect to shop too much, but still

concerts! bands and artists actually tour in tnt! and as far as i can tell, there’s a sweet local scene

i’m not much of a beach person (and i can easily access what are objectively some of the world’s best beaches rn) but i find it comforting that i can access the water on occasion. probably won’t, but it’s comforting anyway.

i love how the st. george campus is broken down into small-medium colleges, to handle the otherwise overwhelming student body.

it looks like i’ll be able to take small classes. i’ve learned by now that while i prefer small groups, i’m also comfortable with larger lectures - i speak up and make them personal. i make use of office hours.

breadth requirement! not only is there an excuse to take some quirky, niche classes (as i’ve done in high school), but it’s structured into the school and expected.

much as i love the hogwarts-castle vibe in a lot of the buildings, the modern, colorful, and bright aesthetic of New seems better for me.

i’ve been looking up study spots in tnt and on campus. as expected, there are plenty of gorgeous places (44 libraries in their system!). def excited to have a library in the same building cluster (New is made of three buildings). huge campus, but much of what i want on a daily basis will be in New or across the street. ofc, i won’t have all of my classes there, but then, that’s not a bad thing.

drop-in fitness classes ! - i hope i can take advantage of hart house and the athletic centre

something else about money: i could afford to travel! i could even do classes abroad (over the summer, ofc). unless i get a massive scholarship in the US, i can’t afford that at a US school

idk how to feel about the varying elitest vibes (@trin, + opinions about york and ryerson...ppl. chill.), considering it’s something i’ve learned to criticize, having grown up with an elitest k-12 school. probably just another familiar element tbh.

i’d love to get some feedback from former or current mcgill or utsg students... or studyblrs in general.

#mcgill #university of Toronto #utsg #u of t #uoft #toronto #montreal #montréal #university #college #aloha-studying #studyblr #personal

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nyhne · 8 years ago

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A Bit About the Rosh

Thanks @gummyboots for the tag! c: 🌸 LAST… Drink: Just water! I’m a bit sick right now so I’m trying to drink lots of water to flush it out. Last phone call: Oh boy, unless we’re counting Skype calls, the last time I had an actual phone call was in December to call my parents’ Air BnB host in Berlin and make sure everything was okay after the Christmasmarket attack. Last text message: Messaged a friend about dinner plans tomorrow c: Last song I listened to: Have my YouTube playlists on right now, so Hayley Kiyoko’s Cliffs Edge Last time I cried: Uhhh it’s been a few years 🌸 HAVE YOU EVER… Been cheated on: (gonna keep gummyboots’ answer on this) Don’t you like, have to date for that to happen. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yessssssssss Been depressed: jain Been drunk and thrown up: Regretfully yes haha Kissed a stranger: Yes-? Drank hard liquor: Haha yeah Lost glasses/contacts: Lost contacts before, but only daily’s Been arrested: Ne Turned someone down: Yes Cried when someone died: No /: 🌸 IN THE PAST YEAR, HAVE YOU… Made a new friend: Been living in a different country for the past year so you kinda gotta Laughed until you cried: Some of my favorite experiences! c: Met someone who changed you: Definitely! Maybe not in big, overt ways, but certainly played a part in shaping who I am today Found out who your true friends were: Hmmm kinda, but not necessarily in the negative way this question implies Found out someone was talking about you: No but I’m sure people talk about me behind my back, idk life goes on, ultimately 🌸 GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life: Five? One I knew beforehand, one I met in college, and the other folks I uh met through the wonders of PruAus ahaha Do you have any pets: Currently have one cat named Humanity i love her c: Do you want to change your name: Haha all the time!! I settle with for just using it in my online sphere What time did you wake up this morning: Around 07? Classes start at 09 and it takes about 40 minutes to get to campus What were you doing last night: I was actually a good noodle last night and did lots of homework last night. As well as get sick, apparently- would definitely explain why I kept waking up last night Name something you cannot wait for: Dinner tomorrow night! This is a friend where we’re still in the stages of kinda establishing our friendship and I think we both like hanging out together but are worried about being too overbearing about it, even though I think we’re actually both fine with it. So hopefully this is another step towards figuring that out Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Lots of Toms! What’s getting on your nerves rn: Being sick- it really adds to my stress and I have an unfortunately busy week /: Blood type: /shruggy Nicknames: Not really for my actual name. “The Rosh” is acceptable for my online handle ahaha Zodiac sign: Libra! In general I think it’s pretty fitting Pronouns: At least online, I prefer to avoid them if I can! Just Roshon is fine- or she/hers or they/theirs is fine when it’s unavoidable. In real life, I honestly don’t care which way you refer to me, but most people use she/hers c: Favourite tv show: Don’t actually watch much TV, especially since being in Berlin since Germany has some pretty serious copyright/pirating laws. Otherwise the series that I tend to keep up with are Brooklyn Nine Nine, Steven Universe, and I still need to finish Gravity Falls once, uh, the German authorities won’t arrest me Hair colour: That Chinese haircolor that is inbetween black and brown- I think my license might actually say brown Long or short: Long- really need to get it cleaned up, but I haven’t quite plucked up the courage to go to a German haircutter yet Crushes: Not really right now! Though I have a total friend crush on the friend I’m grabbing dinner with tomorrow c: Tattoos: I have five! I got my first when I turned 18, and I got my most recent a few weeks ago Righty or lefty: Righty 🌸 FIRSTS… First surgery: Does wisdom teeth count?? First piercing: Ears, when I was in middle school. I think? Wow now I’m not sure haha First best friend: I friend I met in daycare- she was the granddaughter of my daycare lady. We’re still friends today but haven’t really talked in years First sport you joined: Haha none. Just exercise on my own as a fitness thing First vacation: Discounting trips to the mountains and stuff, maybe Mexico? Honestly don’t even remember when we did that trip... 🌸 RIGHT NOW… Eating: Not yet- I live with a host mother through the school program and so host families are supposed to provide dinner Drinking: Yup, still trying to flush the cold out haha I’m about to: Work on some homework /: Listening: Still listening to YouTube videos- right now it’s MisterWives’ Reflections Want kids: Haha nah 🌸 WHICH IS BETTER? Lips or eyes: Eyes! Hugs or kisses: Hugs- I actually have a lot of angst about kissing ahaha Shorter or taller: Taller, but I’m also pretty short so not hard to beat Older or younger: Older /shruggy Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Uhh at this period in my life probably relationship? I don’t mind hook ups but they’re not really what I’m looking for right now Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, but willing to be adventurous 🌸 DO YOU BELIEVE IN… Miracles: Coincidences and signs, but wouldn’t necessarily say miracles Love at first sight: I guess? Heaven: ne Santa Claus: Ne Gonna be boring and not tag anyone but if you wanna do it go for it!!

#person behind the posts #okay now really do have to do homework haha also I'm feeling achy again /:

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